Knock Knock

Did Someone Slip Something In My Crystal Light?

Edit:

The Big Cheese (episode of Camp Lazlo)
When Lumpus discovers that Raj has a precious cheese wheel from India, he pulls out all the stops to eat that cheese himself.

------------------------------------------------

Jessica: Is it true that an Indian cheese wheel is squishy and poison?

Me: (WTF are you talking about?) An Indian cheese wheel?

Jessica: Yeah.

Me: Where did you hear that from?

Jessica: TV.

Me: I don't even know what that is.

Jessica: It was made back in the nineteen-hundred eighties.

As my head was spinning from this bizarro exchange, I hear the TV in the background and a cartoon character mentioned something about a cheese wheel. For a minute before that, I thought I was high. Thank goodness Jessica heard that from TV ;) LOL.

My Crazy Ass WW Leader part deux

I had my second meeting tonight. I came in at the middle of a conversation she was having with another woman who was standing in line (different than the one from last week). She told the member that she told a friend of hers that her daughter was a spoiled brat and needed a good beating.

As an aside, I need to get toned and strong again. My sauceless noodles aren't as strong as they used to be.

I lost 1.6 pounds for a total of 3.

What A Train Wreck

Rock of Love has another season with Bret Michaels making out with skanks and having spiritual connections with women who are willing to lick chocolate off of their own breasts. My goodness, what entertainment!

I have to say that I never laughed harder when Bret picked a French woman to stay and rock his world. He always gets a special thank you from the women he picks. This woman couldn't thank him enough and it was something he actually couldn't stomach.

Bret: "I see a tongue darting out of a mouth, it's coming at me, it's large, it's fighting to get in my mouth, like a serpent. That tongue had made its way all the way down my throat, into my belly and tasted last night's supper."


When is the writer's strike going to be over? I need DVR'd House episodes.

Rat

If only I could get the Mafia to put out a hit on diabetes....that would be one way to cure Brendon. But, dammit, that wouldn't be possible.

The Mafia doesn't like Rats, so it wouldn't have been a problem to get them to whack The D if it were possible to do so.

Aside from causing highs, lows, complications, and general havoc on the body and mind, The D is also a Rat.

Jessica came to our room early this morning...I repeat, EARLY...saying someone ate her candy stash leftover from a birthday party Brendon and she went to on Saturday (Brendon had already eaten his own stash after he came home from the party). Brendon accompanied her to our room to keep tabs on what she was telling us so that he could counter the claims.

I told her I didn't know who ate it, hoping she would drop the subject and go away so that I could continue sleeping. But, immediately, I thought of Brendon because he wakes up the earliest, and was awake before Jessica this morning (and it couldn't be Jacob because he was sleeply soundly next to me).

I wanted first to see if she was mistaken. Maybe she didn't look where it was last left.

"How do you know someone ate your candy? Is it on the desk?"

"I found the wrappers, Mom. Brendon ate my candy."

"I did not", said Brendon quietly through clenched teeth.

Ah, so no spring cleaning was done.

I knew I could pinch Brendon by relying on my informant. Plus, I wanted him to realize that The D will give him a hard time getting away with anything, so lying is pretty much futile.

I took 'em down to the precinct (The Kitchen).

First I smelled Brendon's breath, and was able to remain standing.

"What did you smell?", asked Brendon.

"Why would you ask me that if you didn't eat her candy?"

He clenched his teeth trying to preserve his composure.

I set up my TGTK Lie Detector (a.k.a The Glucose Test Kit) and began the test.

"Brendon, you're a 377. You ate her candy didn't you."

"No, I didn't eat her candy."

"You're never this high in the morning."

Brendon wouldn't budge, but I could plainly see his agita. Some paisan The D turned out to be. They're partners for life and The D has no problem whatsoever throwing Brendon under the bus. As much as The D was helping me out here, I was pretty disgusted with how disloyal The D was, myself.

My partner took over and sat Brendon down at the table. The overhead light shown brightly over Brendon's head. My partner had an idea:

"Brendon, if you ate Jessica's candy, I thought you would've at least dosed yourself for it."

"I did! I did! I dosed myself for 10 carbs!"

My partner looked at me and smiled. I put my hand over my mouth to prevent myself from busting out laughing. We had him.

"So you DID eat the candy", I said.

Brendon closed his eyes, and leaned his head back against the chair in realized defeat.

This story was reported exactly how the situation occured. No names were changed to protect the innocent.

All Roads Lead To Home...And These Whacky Searches Led To My Blog

Here is a collection of search words/terms/phrases that have led people to my blog:

1. Mom wanted hot (I get this and more x-rated versions several times a day. See 10)
2. lint licker (I get about a dozen different lint licker searches each day)
3. code breaker 10
4. beach she alien goggles
5. alexander hamilton's mom
6. banana rash
7. c.atkins - jam man tab
8. need more cowbell soundtrack
9. cure for bad smelling farts (I could tell you, but then I'd have to kill you)
10. mom wants to fuck (This isn't the worst of some searches)
11. hot mom kathy lee gifford (Meh)
12. what does take a flying leap mean
13. texas chainsaw massacre colostomy bag
14. diabetes and farting
15. pickle cure for diabetes
16. diabetes hookah
17. is there a cure childhood diabetes (Someday I'll let you know that, here)
This one was too special to group with the others. The implied desperation broke my heart:

diabetic cure please god

What A Pleasant Surprise

Thank you one and all for participating in my latest meme. First, it was awesome to see so many comments (I didn't expect that at all!) and the words you used to describe me made my day and dare I say, my entire weekend (honestly).

Speaking of dare, here are a small sampling of Valentine's Day Dares ripped from the pages of Vanity Fair (click here to read the rest and submit your own) I know it's a little early, but it is always a smart thing to plan ahead:

One-Point Dares

• Tell your girlfriend that you’ve planned a romantic night in—and upon her arrival, start up a DVD marathon of Judy at Carnegie Hall, Liza with a “Z,” and Yentl.

Three-Point Dares

• Stand outside the home of your beloved with a boom box and re-enact John Cusack’s arms-aloft “In Your Eyes” scene from Say Anything—only with the boom box playing “Movin’ On Up” from The Jeffersons.

• Every time you see a couple kissing, lean into them and say lasciviously, “Hey, lemme get some of that.”

• Using a vacuum cleaner with the floor-brush attachment removed, give yourself a conspicuous hickey. Then strut around the office saying “Who’s the man!” while shooting “double pistols” at colleagues with your index fingers.

Five-Point Dares

• Ask your clergyman if he has plans for the evening, making air quotes around the word “plans” and thrusting your pelvis.

• Stand outside the most romantic restaurant in town with your young children, holding up placards that say sinners and screaming, “Re-pent, for-ni-cay-tors!” at couples as they enter and exit the restaurant.

• Feigning Canadianness, insist to your co-workers that February 13 is Canadian Valentine’s Day. On that day, present a knobby parsnip to an attractive colleague and say, “This is how we show our love up north.”

Have At It, Everyone

Miss Amylia has an interesting meme on her blog.

The Rules:

1. Describe what you REALLY think of me in one word.

2. Leave it in my comments.

Then post this message on your blog and see how many strange and interesting things people say about you!

My Crazy-Ass WW Leader

I went to my first meeting in a year last night and came to see that the WW leader is still crazy as ever.

While I was standing in line waiting to get weighed in, she said hello to a woman standing in front of me and mentioned how cute her kids were. It seems this woman brought her kids to the meeting last week and the woman talked about how out of hand they are when they're together, but they're fine when they're apart.

So they started talking about disciplining the kids and apparently, if this woman is too tough on her kids, her husband gives her a "talking to".

The WW leader said how tough she was on her own son.

The WW leader told this woman a story about when her son was younger, she told him to do something and he said no.

She told him again to do as she said and he still said no.

So, she picked up his bb gun, pumped it once and told him to do as she said.

He says no once again.

The WW leader said she pointed the bb gun at her son and said if he didn't do as she said, she would shoot him.

He started yelling, "Ma! You don't know what you're doing!"

Well, she started chasing him around the yard as he continues yelling, "You don't know what you're doing."

What she didn't realize was that he had already pumped it 10 times which was the most you could pump the bb gun.

She thought the bb wouldn't reach him, but when she shot the gun, it ripped through his jeans and pierced his ass.

I lost 1.4 pounds, btw.

It Blends In So Well

The tricky part about raising a child who has diabetes is determining whether your child is acting up because he's a kid, or because his number is out of whack.

Brendon had breakfast no longer than 2 hours ago and he was begging for a snack. I said no because it was so soon after his meal.

After much begging and whining, he said he felt low and went off to test himself.

He typically uses that tactic in the hopes that if he's low, he'll get something to eat.

"I'm a 28."

"You mean you're a 128." I thought he was trying to trick me into giving him a snack.

"No, I'm a 28."

(This scenario played out once before. And he really was low!)

OK, his number was actually 28.

In the meantime, he's chatty and I can see that his actions and behavior are exaggerated. And he's acting in a way where he knows he's misbehaving, and he's studying me to watch my reaction. I don't know what word to use for his behavior, and at that moment, I know he's not in control of his actions. He's pretty much on autopilot.

Funny how once you know your child is low you know his actions are clearly a result of the low.

I got him 3 juices because he still had 2 units on board which made me nervous, so over correcting would be fine with me.

He started drinking one juice box and tried scooping up the other two to bring with him so that he could watch TV while he drank them.

I took back one because I only wanted him to have two to start.

He sat on the couch watching Spongebob and after finishing the first box, he yells, "Hey mom! Catch!" and throws the box at me.

Of course my reflexive response is to catch it, but I have a wicked stiff neck from a sleeping incident (just my luck that I turn over in the middle of the night and I wrench my neck, thereby causing me to be in constant pain and I can't move my damned head) and I cry out in pain.

You all can laugh, because as I'm writing this out, I'm laughing too.

The plan was to check him at 10:30, during which time he was up to 125. So, he's out of the woods now.

There is a difference between childish misbehavior and low blood sugar misbehavior in how the behavior is played out.

With the childish misbehavior, he's usually rowdy or whiny. With the low blood sugar misbehavior, he's the same way, but it's like he's challenging me and there is little emotion behind his misbehavior, like he's being deliberate about it. For instance, when I'm setting up his test kit, or while he's drinking his juice, he'll pick up papers laying on the counter and toss them in the air. He'll fidget and touch everything he sees within arm's reach. Sometimes he'll look me right in the eye and say something mean.

But the difference in behaviors cannot be seen until you actually know that he's low.

It's like looking in a foggy mirror and you can see things, but you can't make out what they are until you clear the fog from the mirror. I really don't know how else to explain it.

I'm having a hard time explaining all of this, so forgive me if I haven't been clear or made any kind of sense.

Go. All. The. Way!

NFC Champions!!

Don't let him get to 19.

This will be the best Superbowl ever, IMO.

Always A Bridesmaid.....

My soon to be sister-in-law called me yesterday to officially ask me to be a bridesmaid in my brother's and her wedding in June.

With tears brimming, I said yes.

And then realized I have to step up my weight loss game.

I started out doing that Clean-Eating diet.

And I hadn't lost weight!!

So, I thought maybe it's my portion sizes.

I joined Weight Watchers again in the hopes that it will tighten up my portion sizes. Plus I liked going to the meetings and doing the weigh-ins.

The leader whose meetings I had gone to, and will go to again, had a no-nonsense quit-your-whining-and-count-your-damn-points kind of attitude. I work better when people don't coddle me. Because coddling causes me to get cozy and comfy in emotional bliss.

But, I need to remain on my toes and not get too comfortable with not trying my best and saying it's OK to gain weight. Why go through all of the effort if I'm going to sabotage it all with not paying attention to my food intake.

I am by no means perfect.

I know what my weaknesses are.

I hope to keep those weaknesses at bay.

There are a grip of OCer's doing Weight Watchers, so I hope we can have virtual meetings to help encourage each other to stay on track.

I'll be posting updates here if you ever want to visit.

My Propensity For Interrogations

Brendon rarely talks about how diabetes affects him. But, when he does, he is in for a world of quesions from me. I am fascinated by the diabetic psyche and diabetes' immediate affects on the body.

So, last night when Brendon tested himself after his nightly after-dinner horsing around with his brother and sister, and came up as a 36, and said, "I don't feel like a 36, I feel like a 64", I began my interrogation.

I thought to myself, why does he feel like a 64...nevermind the random number he picked out of the air...or maybe it's not so random for him...maybe he knows exactly what numbers affect him in their myriad of ways.

"What does a 64 feel like?"

"I get sort of a stomach ache."

"What does the stomach ache feel like? Like a sharp pain?"

"No."

He continues slurping his juice down.

"Do you feel sick to your stomach?"

"Yes."

More slurping.

"Is it like you're nauseous?"

One more slurp.

"Yes."

"Ahh, I see."

I next observe him opening up a cheese stick wrapper and notice he can't quite grip the plastic to peel it apart. I deteremine it must be because he's low and his brain isn't working properly, because I'm a mom and moms love to overdramatize situations....at least, this mom does.

"Do you need help with that?"

"No, I'm fine."

His hands look steady and he finally peels the plastic apart and shoves the cheese into his mouth because he's a boy and boys have a need to shove an enormous amount of food into their mouths in one bite.

"Do you feel shaky?"

"No."

"You feel fine?"

"Yes."

I look at him, and he seems perfectly fine.

But, he's a 36.

And I wonder if when he's older, will that 36 have a more outwardly profound effect on him.

And I'm really really glad a 36 for him right now is quite uneventful.

And even that fascinates me.

How the human body works and what it can handle.

When he is with other people, without mom and dad around, we can't even give them a list of symptoms to watch for because he rarely shows symptoms of lows. We tell them to either test after an hour of running around, or to watch for his temper or frustration, because those are really the only signs of him running low.

Diabetes is a tricky, slippery fellow, so the more I know, the more secure I feel that diabetes won't get the best of Brendon...or me.

Ouchy

Admit it, men. You wish you could be as flexible as he is:

Please Be Good To Yourselves

Do not skip meals during the day. You really don't want this happening to you:

Why?

Why do little girls scream, whine and cry?

Why do little boys get piss everywhere but IN the toilet?

He Is Unstoppable

Yesterday, Brendon had a basketball game. I have to say that for a bunch of 1st and 2nd graders, they played a good game.

Brendon is really loving basketball. He loves the running and passing and stealing and shooting baskets.

He's also a tough little man. And by man, I mean exactly that....I see him becoming a man that I will admire:

He made a shot that bounced off the rim and hit him in the nose, knocking him to the floor. The coaches and team mates from both teams gathered around him checking to see if he was OK. He lifted his head, shook it, and then got up and ran across the floor to play defense. I watched intently for blood, but there wasn't any. Nonetheless, getting hit in the nose is probably one of the worst kinds of pain there is (I've had plenty of hits to the nose while playing as a kid).

My heart swelled with pride when I heard the other parents say to no one in particular, "Boy, he's a tough kid. That was a hard hit, too."

While he stood ready and waiting for the other team to head his way, I heard him say he wished they had a sub. I didn't know what he was referring to.

When the game finished, and we got into the van, I asked him how his nose was doing.

He said it hurt a lot when he got hit and he wished more team mates came to the game so that someone could fill in for him so that he could take a 3 minute break.

I told him he could've taken the break anyway.

He said his team didn't have enough players and he needed to stay in the game.

He was so concerned about his team that he put his own needs aside to avoid leaving them vulnerable.

Being that no score is kept during the games, it would've actually have been OK to sit out for a while ;)

Let me also add that his numbers were excellent.

He doesn't wear his pump while he plays, mainly to avoid going low during the games.

I called to him to come get checked during the middle of the game and he told me to make it quick because his team needs him. I poked and tested as quickly as possible and saw that he was a 130. It was a great number, but I wasn't sure if he would drop too low, so I gave him 4 sugar cubes to help avoid a big drop.

Once we got home, I tested again and he was a 160.

I was happy that diabetes didn't leave Brendon vulnerable.

Know Me, Know My Humor

This video is cute with the little British accent and all:


This video is funny as hell just because I have an odd sense of humor:

The Finesse Of The Game

It's my turn to take Brendon to his basketball game this morning. Typically I take Jessica to gymnastics. So, I don't know what goes on at Brendon's basketball games.

Jeff went over good sportsmanship with Brendon.

"Brendon. You have to practice good sportsmanship at the game today. If you score a point, don't get too carried away."

"Does he get in people's faces or something?", I ask.

"Well, sort of. He did it to a girl the last time."

LMAO.

"He said something like, 'Thanks for giving my team the ball'."
(Let me make clear that he does it to bust chops and be funny. He doesn't say it meanly).

Groan......

Jeff continued on with what was expected of Brendon at the game:

"Don't yell BOOYAH, or IN YOUR FACE, or EN FUEGO."

Say Hello

I saw on Penny's blog that it's National Delurk Day today.

Please delurk and make your presence known in the comment section :D I'd love to hear from ya's.

Insane In The Membrane

I don't know for how long, but my nerves are fried and frazzled. No reason in particular, but my sensory system is EXTRA sensitive.

I'm impatient.

Loud noises make me want to scream.

I get insulted REALLY easily anymore and it takes a LOT to insult me usually. If you leave a comment, be extra nice...thanks :)

Jeff has been getting on my nerves. I get mad at him for things that I shouldn't be mad at him for. I'd say something which winds up being wrong like for instance, I said Jessica will be 19 when she graduates college because she started kindergarten when she was 6, he'd correct me because she would in fact be 18, and I'd get pissed that he was right and I was wrong. And I get mad at him for a bunch of other stupid things.

I get upset with Jessica for constantly jumping on me to get a hug and kiss. And when she screams while playing (you know how girls scream) I have to leave the room to avoid flying into a rage against her because I don't want to scare her.

The kids are constantly calling for me....I mean, CONSTANTLY....asking me questions, telling me to get them this, that, and the other thing.

I need to live in a monestary for a while, taking a vow of silence.

And then I got pissed just a little while ago looking for a picture of a frazzled mom to illustrate this post. What got me pissed was this:



My mommy is insane???? Nice. Real nice.

And here's the description of the book:

"My Mommy Is Insane" is an adorable children's illustrated book, written originally by Koni Coward as a poem. This humorous look at Mommy's frazzled nerves is illustrated by gorgeous artwork by Mary Lacro-Mauritz.

Oh yeah, mommy's insanity is fucking adorable, isn't it?

Sing Along With Me

Every time the Dentyne Ice commercial comes on, I sing this song. Now I have the full version to terrorize my family with and sing it all. day. looooong.

So kiss me again
Cause only you can stop this stut-stut-stut-stuttering
Kiss me again
And ease my su-su su-su su-su s-su-s-suffering

I Cast My Vote

No, I did not vote for Oprah as Jessica had suggested.

And I did not vote for Pip and Squeak as Jacob claimed to have done.

There were police directing traffic for voters, and ambulances abound. Long lines of cars from the school out onto side streets everywhere. It was kind of crazy outside. I was expecting to be in line for a long time waiting to vote. But, once I got inside, it took all of 2 minutes to get my ballot, vote, and leave the building. I don't know why they had cops leading a crazy trail to the school. I thought they caused more problems more than anything.

Can You Spare Some Change, Mr.?

Edit* I just had a guy come to my door reminding me to vote. Voting lasts until 7 p.m. tonight. 7 more hours of harassment. Hoorah!

Edit #2* I asked Jessica who I should vote for. She said, "Vote for Oprah."

I just receive the following phone call a few minutes ago:

"Hi I'm calling on behalf of Barack Obama and I wanted to remind you that today is Primary Election Day. The results are extremely close and it would make a difference if you vote. Barack is the agent of change and will make a difference if he becomes President."

WHAT??!! Today is election day?

I hadn't a clue with you people calling my house all day and night

And watching nothing but debates and candidates on TV and seeing every single story in the paper being about each and every candidate

And airplanes with banners to vote for Ron Paul buzzing over our house

And millions of campaign signs on every street corner...some next to For Sale signs littering our neighborhood.

THANK YOU for reminding me that today is election day.

Let's see. Who should I vote for:

Captain Obvious who thinks there should be change in Washington? I was in the mindset that we should continue down the path where Bush is leading us. But, Barack is so persuasive I can't begin to be opposed to changes in Washington.

Or how about Captain Clueless who thinks Big Pharma shouldn't be made out to be the bad guy. Guess who's gotten the biggest contribution from Big Pharma out of all of the candidates.

Maybe I should vote for The Huck who has Chuck on his side. Nobody wants to fuck with Chuck.

Thank you, campaign volunteer, for calling me YET AGAIN for the millionth time to tell me that today is election day.

It's Adorable, But Not Really?

"Bwendon's battewy is low and he's gonna get weally, weally sick."
(Jacob, age 4, telling us about Brendon's pump battery).

Alexander Hamilton Is Superbad

So this guy gets super drunk and tells the history of Alexander Hamilton and Aaron Burr. Check out who plays Alexander Hamilton.

"Can you see my belly? OK, so Alexander...."

It's Not Wonder Years Here

Today, I asked Brendon if Ashley liked the bracelet.

He was like, "I don't know."

And I was like, "Did you see if she was wearing it?"

And then he was like, "I have no idea, pffft."

And then he started throwing a ball with his bro and sis.

I was hoping for a romantic Winnie and Kevin moment where they lock eyes and the wind blows through their hair and they walk up to each other and maybe Brendon trips and fumbles a bit and then Ashley gives a coy little giggle as she covers her mouth and then Brendon brushes himself off and leans in for a kiss, but they bump noses and she rubs her nose and he rubs his and they walk away from the unrequited kiss.

The Bracelet

Brendon made the bracelet for Ashley and this morning we made sure it was in his backpack. I wish I had taken a pic of it because when blogging, pictures are always a great accompaniment to a short story.

As he got on the bus, I felt like he was on his way to the most important day of his school life. It was a day that would make or break his heart for the first time.

When he got home, stripped himself of wet snowpants and boots, got himself settled in the playroom with a mug of hot chocolate, I asked if he gave the bracelet to Ashley.

"No, I didn't give it to her. I gave it to someone else to give to her."

Ah! The School Of Love 101: Never, ever give someone a note or token of affection directly. Always give it to a buddy to give to the girl.

"So do you know if she liked it?"

"Well, when I saw her in the lunch room she was smiling a lot. And she waved to me."

"Was she wearing it?"

"I saw her trying to put it on. I'll ask her tomorrow if she liked it."

My little man is growing up and shit if my PMS has to coincide with this landmark achievement in Brendon's 2nd grade love life. I'm getting teary eyed writing this.

Tomorrow when he gets home from school and after he strips himself of his wet snowpants and boots and settles down with another mug of hot chocolate, I'll ask him:

"Did you ask her if she liked the bracelet?"

I love some good school gossip.

Images Meme

I got this from Amylia's blog. It was easy and FUN to do! Plus I haven't got much in writing material anyway, so, this was a DELIGHT to post!! :)

No, I'm not on meds btw if you're wondering why I'm so whimsical with my writing...in case you were thinking that. I have a bad case of PMS this week, so I have to act like I'm in a good mood otherwise I'll be writing a country song about how my husband left me, took the kids and the dog and left me with a crop to till and sow.

1. Age at my next birthday:



2. A place I'd like to travel to:



3. A Favorite Place:



4. A Favorite Thing:



5. A Favorite Food:



6. A Favorite Color:



7. A Favorite Flower:



8. The City You Live In:



9. Name of a Past Pet:



10. A Nickname You've Had:



11. College Major:



12. First Job:



13. A Hope for 2008:

Mother's Wisdom

Jessica wanted to work on a craft project with me, so I suggested we make her a name bracelet with some plasticy crystal beads and some letter beads.

She was happily stringing along when Brendon came in to check out what we were up to.

"I want to make a bracelet too."

"Really? This is a girl thing."

"I want to make one for someone in my class."

And so, he told me the girl's name and began picking up letter beads to spell out Ashley (with a heart bead included in the mix).

I knew about Ashley since I saw clues in his backpack in the past. Papers with her name on it, phrases like "I like Ashley" neatly printed...sketched pictures of a blond haired girl.

Here's where my wisdom comes in. Teasing him, I said:

"Oh, you don't need a girlfriend."

"Why not?"

"Because girls are nags. Stick to your studies."

"Why can't I study AND have a girlfriend."

"Because they'll never let you get your work done. They'll keep bugging you about why you don't call them, or why you don't tell them that you love them, and they'll keep asking what you're thinking about. Trust me, girls are a pain when they're girlfriends."

With that, he kept plucking up beads to save for the next day so that he could sit down and take time to make Ashley something special.

He'll be 8 soon. The next thing I know, he'll be 18. Will my motherly wisdom sink in? Probably not.

Slow Down Young One

Brendon came to me with a pen and paper. He asked me to spell harmony for him. I asked him why. He said there is a website he wanted to check out. I knew immediately without him saying which site:

Me: No. You are NOT going on that website. Those women are old enough to be your mother.

Brendon (shoulders drop, looking clearly disappointed): Well, maybe there are girls....arrgghh!!

Me: There are no girls your age on that website. You're not going on it and that's final.

Brendon: But maybe.....

Me: NO!