What The Hell Is Wrong With Kids These Days?

Class trip went well...too well. Nothing to write about. Kids behaved themselves; they weren't loud and obnoxious; they sat still during the whole performance; behaved on the bus. They were nothing at all how we were as kids.

I remember riding home from school with the entire bus of us yelling, screaming, throwing paper balls at each other...and the bus driver.

We'd yell at her to quit side-swiping mailboxes (she never did, but would come deadly close to doing so). She'd be in tears the entire time. And we showed no mercy. Day in and day out. She finally quit, but by that time, I was off to high school and became much more mature.

Forget about class trips. We'd yell out to people in the streets of NYC as we drove by. We'd get "the finger" in response and that would make our day!! One trip was to the Intrepid. Three of us made off on our own and found all sorts of rooms and tunnels that were off limits to the general public. We made our way into a control room...they should really lock rooms that are off limits...and pretended to shoot down ships and planes. No one ever noticed we were gone. We simply slipped back in with the group and continued the tour.

I have to say that one of the kids I was in charge of looking after had an uncanny resemblance to Baby Huey.

Herding Cats

"Babysitting your kids is like herding cats", my mom always says to me when she comes to visit. I picture cowboys on horses riding along side hundreds of cats running every which way....utter chaos.

Well, she should be with me today, chaperoning over 100 Kindergarteners for a class trip. We're going to the Palace Theatre to see "The Velveteen Rabbit". I have a sore throat, a headache, and I'm tired. Those kids best not piss me off (just kidding...I'm not in that bad of a mood).

Hopefully I'll have some funny stories to tell about the impending fiasco.

Men Are Sooo Immature

HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A WOMAN:

Take off clothing and place it in sectioned laundry hamper according to lights and darks.

Walk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown. If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.

Look at your womanly physique in the mirror - make mental note to do more sit-ups/leg-lifts, etc.

Get in the shower. Use face cloth, arm cloth, leg cloth, long loofah, wide loofah and pumice stone.

Wash your hair once with cucumber and sage shampoo with 43 added vitamins.

Wash your hair again to make sure it's clean.

Condition your hair with grapefruit mint conditioner enhanced.

Wash your face with crushed apricot facial scrub for 10 minutes

until red.

Wash entire rest of body with ginger nut and jaffa cake body wash.

Rinse conditioner off hair.

Shave armpits and legs.

Turn off shower.

Squeegee off all wet surfaces in shower.

Spray mold spots with Tilex.

Get out of shower.

Dry with towel the size of a small country. Wrap hair in super absorbent towel.

Return to bedroom wearing long dressing gown and towel on head.

If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.



HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A MAN:

Take off clothes while sitting on the edge of the bed and leave them in a pile.

Walk naked to the bathroom.

If you see wife along the way, shake wiener at her making the woo-woo sound.

Look at your manly physique in the mirror.

Admire the size of your wiener and scratch your ass.

Get in the shower.

Wash your face.

Wash your armpits.

Blow your nose in your hands and let the water rinse them off.

Fart and laugh at how loud it sounds in the shower.

Spend majority of time washing privates and surrounding area.

Wash your butt, leaving those coarse butt hairs stuck on the soap.

Wash your hair. Make a Shampoo Mohawk.

Pee.

Rinse off and get out of shower.

Partially dry off.

Fail to notice water on floor because curtain was hanging out of tub the whole time.

Admire wiener size in mirror again.

Leave shower curtain open, wet mat on floor, light and fan on.

Return to bedroom with towel around waist. If you pass wife, pull off towel, shake wiener at her and make the woo-woo sound again.

Throw wet towel on bed.

Who Are The People In Your Neighborhood?

I watched Sesame Street religiously back in the day. I remember the song, "Who are the People in Your Neighborhood?". You know, the people that you meet each day.

We're getting new neighbors across the street...the house is finally sold. I was concerned that we would get some crazy neighbors. The kind with loud, obnoxious kids, a dog that craps on other people's lawns. You know who I'm talking about.

Not too long ago, before the house was sold, there was a couple taking a look at it. They seemed like a nice, clean cut couple...nothing too crazy looking about them.

As they came out of the house with the real estate agent after finishing their tour, my carpool neighbor pulled into my driveway to drop off Brendon. Jessica opened the front door and ran out to greet the boys. Along with her came Rypley, our incredibly loud barking dog, and Jacob clad in nothing but a diaper and big winter boots...in 50 degree weather.

Brendon and his carpool friend came running up the lawn and started doing a crazy jig around our loudly barking dog, screeching and laughing while Jacob ran around in circles and while Jessica crawled around the ground trying to squash ants.

It was then that I realized...we're the crazy neighbors. Shit.

Foolishness?????

For months now, I've been crawling out of my skin. I've been taking stock of my life...looking back to see how I came to be where I am today, and although I'm doing exactly what I've always planned to do (staying at home with my kids), I do have regrets.

One of them is not traveling. I want to do the by myself, on my own, without a clue as to what the hell I'm doing kind of traveling. Not the tour traveling with people who want to see museums, eat at cafés, or shop in street markets.

I'm talking about the kind of traveling where you close your eyes, point your finger, and pick a spot on a map and then go there and see how people really live...meeting them (hoping you don't get raped or murdered when they invite you into their homes for a meal and conversation) and seeing if their lives are just as confusing, and regretful, and complicated as my own. I want to experience the human condition of others.

Recently, I was invited by a good friend of mine to visit her in France where she lives with her French husband, and where they've created a family of two beautiful children who speak French. My friend is from America and she's described how, when they all speak together, it's a whirlwind of French and English. I want to experience that crazy, confusing kind of conversation.

I want to live outside of my comfort zone...to feel tense, nervous, unsafe...I want to feel some emotion for once.

I'm taking her up on her offer!

I mentioned it to Jeff. I asked if he wanted to come along...we could bring the kids. He sniffed, wrinkled his nose, shrugged his shoulders, and reminded me that he doesn't like to travel, he doesn't speak the language, he's not interested. I told him that I'd like to go by myself then. He shrugged those shoulders again and said, "I don't know". I don't know what "I don't know" means, but I'm not taking it as a no.

I've planned my life carefully to avoid struggle, pain, and regrets. I went to college, graduated in 4 years, became engaged to the man with whom I carefully nourished a relationship to make sure that he was the one forever, we got married after carefully planning our wedding, we bought a house after saving every penny we earned, we fixed up the house before we had kids, we had kids. Now I regret not really living life.

A life too carefully planned is really no life at all.

Is it foolish of me to think that I can just pick up for a week or two, visit someone halfway across the world and live the life I want to live for such a short time? Is it foolish of me to live a life of someone who doesn't have the responsibilities that come with being a wife and mother of three young...very young...children?

Maybe so, but I'm going to France. August of 2007.

This Is Why I'm Never Ever Moving from New Hampshire

Today, I received a note from Brendon's teacher letting me know ahead of time that pizza will be served on Wednesday during snacktime.

It's a classmate's birthday, and his parents own a pizza joint.

Now I can guesstimate the carb count and leave a note for the school nurse on what to dose him for. I won't be able to do a split dose like I normally do, but I could always do a correction when he comes home from school.

It's the little things like the note that make me feel like the teachers are really looking out for Brendon's well being.

42 Minutes of Perfect Workout Songs

I burned a CD of iTunes songs from my Mac. Since I don't have an iPod (which I'm hoping to acquire one day), I figured the next best thing is to burn a CD of some of my favorite songs...about 42+ minutes worth...perfect amount of time for a workout.

Some are upbeat, some are slow and easy. I've read in several articles that the best cardio workout entails alternating slow paces with fast paces during a 45 minute workout. So here's my list that incorporates that theory:

Thunder Road...Bruce Springsteen

Say It Ain't So...Weezer

Put Your Lights On...Santana

I've Been Loving You Too Long...Otis Redding

Harder To Breathe...Maroon 5

Feelin' Good Again...Robert Earl Keen

Jersey Girl...Bruce Springsteen

C'mon C'mon...The Von Bondies (This happens to be the best workout song hands down!!)

Born To Run...Bruce Springsteen

Back-2-Good...Match Box 20 (The best cool down song)

Granted most of the songs are a slower pace (LOL), but I'm making a concerted effort to put a faster pace on most of the slower songs.

The Boston Accent is Now Deeply Embedded

"Mom, I know how to spell awks"

"What?"

"I know how to spell awks."

Not having a clue what the hell awks was, I told him to spell it for me anyway.

"OK, spell it"

"O...X"

"Ohhh, ahhhx. Say ahx."

"Awx"

Flash forward to dinner time and me telling Jeff about the accent.

"Brendon, it's ahx, not awx", says Jeff

"Ahawx". Picture Brendon opening his mouth wide to get the "ah" sound to come out. It looked like he was opening wide to let the dentist see his teeth. He just couldn't get his mouth to pronounce the "ah" sound.

Moral of the Story

Never stop exercising because when you start up again, it's a bitch to get back in shape.

I'm so sorry I stopped the elliptical. Now I'm back to square one as far as my conditioning goes.

I did 1/2 hour last night and was huffing and puffing, but I stuck with it. I'm hoping that I'll bounce back faster. But, from now on, I'm making it a rule that if I lose my motivation to exercise, that I'll at least keep with it a couple of times a week instead of quitting cold turkey.

Dear God In Heaven....

Please, please, please don't tease me. Could it be? Am I down to wiping the ass of just one child? Please God, let it be so.

I put the kabosh on wiping Brendon's ass. I had about enough of it. 6 years of enough to be exact.

Now, today, Jessica insisted on wiping her own. And I consented. This better not be a tease, God. Make sure she insists every. single. day for the rest of my life.

Thank you.

100 Days

This weather we're having is dismal. It feels like I'm in the middle of winter again which is not good for my mood. No sun=bad mood. The cold and rain makes me want to curl up and sleep all day.

So the only other way I can think of perking myself up is to get back in the saddle and exercise on a daily basis. I've dabbled here and there, but not routinely.

I quit the elliptical because I thought I was on my way to bike riding. I was anticipating nothing but nice weather on its way, but no luck.

I'll start doing the elliptical again working toward doing it on a daily basis for at least 30 minutes. I'll add weights for toning as well. Something light, not too much.

Tonight is day 1.

Big News In A Small New England Town

Rain, rain, go away....

I can't even tell you how many days it's been drizzly, and rainy here. But I can tell you that yesterday, about 10-18" of rain fell over Southern New Hampshire and Eastern Mass.

The main part of my town was completely shut down. Some parts of the town plus other areas of other towns have mandatory evacuation warnings set.

The Governor of NH sent the National Guard here to my town to help the local police deal with traffic and road problems.

The schools are closed and we have no where to go because a lot of roads are closed due to flooding or they've washed away.

We have rain in the forecast for the next 8 days (plus or minus depending on weather updates).

Ugh.

Your Favorite Infusion Set

I'm taking a poll to see what infusion set you pumpers use, why you like it, and what you don't like about it.

Brendon uses the Cozmo and we use the Comfort set. I hate it with a passion. No offense to anyone who uses it :)

Thanks!!

Completely Fucked Up

I typically don't get frustrated with managing Brendon's diabetes, but lately I've been getting completely fed up with the whole thing. His numbers have been sky high more often than not.

About an hour after he eats, he'll test in the 400's. All day long his numbers will ride in the high 200-mid 300 range. Just when I think his numbers are lowering to normal range (his normal), they sky rocket again.

We've been bolusing and correcting the living daylights out of the kid. We raised his total daily basal by 5 units, we've raised his correction bolus's as well. All of it has barely made a dent, if it's made a dent at all.

I first suspected he was coming down with allergies. I never figured a cold because his numbers react differently than they have been. The insulin is new, no bubbles in the line, no leakage at the pump or the insertion site. If this is a growth spurt, then it's pretty vicious. Or maybe it's an absorption problem. We typically insert in the stomach and butt. Maybe they've been used up.

My last ditch effort is to do a thigh site tomorrow. I'd do it today, but he gets so stressed out any time we change his set. Plus, I need time to sell the idea to him.

If his numbers don't improve, then it's time to call the Endo. She doesn't want us calling unless we've exhausted every avenue. I like that she pushes us to be independent, but sometimes I'd like for someone to hold my hand and lead the way. It can be exhausting thinking of everything by myself.

Can Anyone Tell I'm Stressed?

Here are my Meme questions from Kerri:

1. What song would you pick as your theme and why?

Jersey Girl by Bruce Springsteen. I was born and raised in NJ. I can totally relate to the atmosphere that the song has which is "going down the shore" to get away from all the pressures and just feeling good.

2. You come home and your house is completely covered in very small birds. How do you shoo them away successfully?

What the hell kind of question is this?, LOL. I would clap my hands and say "Get outta here!!".

3. Your husband is out and your children are with the sitter: How would you spend three hours of completely free time?

I would read one of the books I'm trying to get through. I would make myself a alcoholic cocktail, not sure what...as long as it contains a good dose of alcohol. Maybe I'd watch a movie from On Demand. Basically anything that I don't have to physically get on my feet and do.

4. Someone is writing the book of your life. What’s the title?

Coming of Age During a Midlife Crisis.

5. Why do you blog?

At first I wanted to write about Brendon and our experience with diabetes because I wanted to connect with others who were having similar experiences or even just different experiences...as long as it was about diabetes. I wanted to feel less isolated and to know that what I felt or did was normal.

Now I basically write as a mental outlet. I post what I think is interesting and funny whether it has anything to do with diabetes or not.

My Son, The Political Activist

Brendon took it upon himself to write to the President.

Yesterday, on the way home from school, Brendon was trying to convince his carpool friend to not vote for Bush during the next election. He told his Carpool Friend to vote for Kerry instead. I wasn't about to bust in on the conversation to tell him that neither one would be running in 2008. I wanted to see where this conversation was going to go:

Brendon: Don't vote for Bush at the next election. I voted for Kerry the last time, so now I'll vote for him again.

Carpool Friend: I will vote for whoever I want. You can't tell me who to vote for. Why can't I vote for Bush?

Brendon: Because Bush won't let scientists help kids who have diabetes. And that's very bad because we need a lot of help. I want to get cured and Bush won't let it happen.

Carpool Friend: Well, I'm voting for Bush because I can make my own decisions.

I tuned out the conversation because Jacob started throwing a fit. But, by the time we got to Carpool Friend's house, CP informed me that he was going to vote for Kerry. I don't know how Brendon finally convinced him, but he has a knack for getting people to do what he wants.

Here Are The Questions, Ladies!!

I couldn't for the life of me think of questions to ask. So, I referred to my beloved Vanity Fair magazine and lifted questions from their Proust questionnaire:

Lyrehca:
1. What is your idea of perfect happiness?
2. What is your greatest fear?
3. Which historical figure do you most identify with?
4. Which living person do you most admire?
5. What is the trait you most deplore in yourself?

Kerri:
1. What is the trait you most deplore in others?
2. What do you consider the most overrated virtue?
3. On what occasion do you lie?
4. Which living person do you most despise?
5. Which words or phrases do you most overuse?

Bethany
1. What is your greatest regret?
2. What or who is the greatest love of your life?
3. When and where are you happiest?
4. Which talent would you most like to have?
5. What is your current state of mind?

Allison
1. If you could change one thing about yourself, what would it be?
2. If you could change one thing about your family, what would it be?
3. What do you consider your greatest achievement?
4. If you were to die and come back as a person or thing, what do you think it would be?
5. What is your most treasured possession?

A Sweet Meme

1. Leave me a comment saying “interview me.” The first five commenters will be the participants.
2. I will respond by asking you five questions.
3. You will update your blog/site with the answers to the questions.
4. You will include this explanation and an offer to interview someone else in the same post.
5. When others comment asking to be interviewed, you will ask them five questions.

Here are the answers to the questions Art-Sweet asked me:

1. What five things do you want to accomplish in the next five years?
a. Go back to work fulltime hopefully having a career involving writing.
b. Get my basement cleaned out (it might just take 5 years to do it!!)
c. Travel to France all by myself to visit my friend.
d. To have certain decisions made and agreed upon.
e. To simply have a fullfilling life.

2. Does Brendon's diabetes make it hard to give your other kids enough attention?
The pump allows me to manage his diabetes quickly and conveniently so that
there is minimum time taken to manage his diabetes. Jacob likes to collect the
blood on the strip when I test Brendon. Jessica enjoys having a juice with
Brendon when he's low. So basically, they are included in his management. The
only time significant time is devoted to Brendon is during that rare time when
he has a stomach flu and we have to tend to him constantly. At that time,
either Jeff or I deal with Jessica and Jacob while the other tends to Brendon.

3. Into what areas of your life is your blog not allowed to go?
My marriage.

4. Who in your Real Life knows about and reads your blog? Why them?
My parents know about it so that they can keep up with what is going on with
Brendon's diabetes. It's easier than calling them. I've told various friends
and acquaintances who have a child with diabetes.

5. Chocolate or vanilla?
Chocolate.

Worry, Worry, Worry

Brendon finally went back to school today. He and I have had about enough of each other, LOL.

I spoke to the school nurse about his surgery, what to look out for, what he can and can't do.

She informed me that she resigned and that a new nurse is taking over in September. I was devastated. She's so good with Brendon. She checks him often, goes to the classroom to dose him when he's finished with his snack, she worries for me so that I don't have to.

Now she'll be gone...and I'll have a new nurse to deal with. I hope she'll be on top of his management the way the current nurse is especially since he'll be in school full time come September.

I hate change when diabetes is involved. I like finding a comfort zone and I do everything I can to preserve it. But when that zone changes, it sucks to have to rearrange it and make it comfortable again.

I'm trying not to worry now since September is so far off. Just enjoying the zone while it's here.

Meme Time...Because I'm Bored

Accent: Apparently I have a New Jersey accent according to a Canadian in Toronto who couldn't get enough of hearing me talk, and several other people I know...but I don't hear it.

Booze: Kahlua in my hot chocolate during the winter...cranberry & vodka...beer

Chore I Hate: Cleaing toilets used by little boys.

Dog or Cat: Dog.

Essential Electronics: Computer...radio.

Favorite Perfume: Magie Noir by Lancome. I've worn it practically everyday since I was 15.

Gold or Silver: Silver.

Hometown: Ogdensburg, NJ

Insomnia: Not lately, but typically I fall asleep too early and then I'm up at midnight until 4 in the morning.

Job Title: Domestic Engineer-(Goddess)

Kids: 3 (4 if you include diabetes)

Living arrangements: I own a home with my husband and we live with 3 kids and a dog.

Most admirable traits: I can keep a secret...I keep a household together without going crazy (most of the time)

Number of sexual partners: Ahem...more than 1

Overnight hospital stays: Appendicitis when I was 5 yrs old...3 c-sections

Phobias: None

Quote: “Cleaning your house while your kids are still growing is like shoveling the sidewalk before it stops snowing” -Phyllis Diller

Religion: None

Siblings: One brother...1 step-sister...1 step-brother

Time I wake up: Anywhere from 5 a.m. to 7 a.m. depending on when the kids wake me.

Unusual talent or skill: I can trick people into thinking a real bird is whistling Yankee Doodle (this talent was discovered by accident).

Vegetables I love: Spinach...carrots.

Worst habit: I bite my cuticles...procrastination

X-rays: Broken collar bone...injured hand...cavities

Yummy foods I make: Rosemary roast chicken...cheesecake...Korean beef and rice.

Zodiac sign: Aquarius