Taking His Lead

Being open about having diabetes is something I find to be important. As long as Brendon is comfortable, I don't encourage him to be discreet. It's all out in the great, wide open.

To that end, when several of his baseball team mates circled around him in the dugout as he assembled his meter, craning his neck to watch the plays being made in the field, I thought, maybe I should get the boys to back off. But, Brendon seemed oblivious to the attention. He seemed oblivious to even performing the glucose test as he's done it hundreds of times already and sometimes he doesn't realize he's done one. At times he says, "Oh shoot! I forgot to test myself", with me reminding him that he tested himself seconds ago.

The boys look on as he squeezes blood from his finger.

"Ew! Lookit, blood! Does that hurt?"

"No", says Brendon distractedly because he's too busy watching the game and performing the test at the same time.

"BOYS! GIVE HIM SOME BREATHING SPACE! LEAVE HIM ALONE!", Brendon's coach bellows to the boys from the field.

A mother I was talking to catches what's going on and says, "Do you think they should give him some privacy?"

And then I begin to wonder if I should get them to back off so that Brendon doesn't have an audience.

From then on and long after the game, it nags at me that I probably should've protected Brendon from the onslaught of rubberneckers.

I asked him later that night if he was bothered by the boys watching him do the test.

He says he wasn't.

I ask if I should've gotten them to back off.

He says I don't have to. It's fine.

And so I let him take the lead in all of this. He's eight years old, but he has a right to conduct himself the way he wants when it comes to how he handles his diabetes management.

If he isn't bothered, then I will stand back. If I see him struggling, I'll lend a hand.

WAPTLTTOTTOS

It was bad enough when Beverly Hills 90210 first came out and I had to get the damn zip code straight when I talked about the show with someone: "Hey, did you see Beverly Hills 91520...er uh...90589...whatever.

Now I come up against the initials for shows. I'll happen upon an article about a show and find initials like:

SATC
ANTM
SYTYCD
AI
TMNT

An article about TC was written by TWOP. Even the gossip websites are initialized!

I'm convinced I'm dyslexic, so referring to a show by using its initials will not work for me, LOL.

I don't think I'll ever get Law & Order SUV straight....EVER.

OMG WTF, people! Type it all out.

Where IS Everybody?

Where did everyone go? Are you all too pooped out or busy to blog or comment? It's blahsville around here.

Wallis Sands (Pics)

For those of you who weren't aware, there are 18 miles of New Hampshire coastline.

Last summer, I found a gem of a beach and have declared it my very own oasis.

On any given day this summer while the kids are on break, you will be able to find us at my favorite place. I will take them here as often as possible. We went over the Memorial Day weekend and it's always the most relaxing place to go. It's not too crowded, the kids don't fight, and there is a bath house and concession stand a stone's throw away.

Best of all, Brendon's numbers are ALWAYS spot on. I think we'll go as often as possible just to give him a chance to have excellent numbers more often than not and give his poor body a break.

The beach area is small enough for the kids to go from one end to the other without me worrying about them getting lost.

It's large enough, though, to give them the sense that they have more freedom than they know what to do with.

I simply love being there.

To Know John Cusack

However you say it, Coosack...Cuesack, he is a cutie...and quirky...and a little off center in a very conservative, mild mannered sort of way.

Let's get to know John Cusack with this Proust Questionnaire (as swiped from Vanity Fair):

What is your current state of mind?
Bloodied and slightly doom-struck, but I am comfortable with these themes. I remain basically unbowed.

What is your greatest fear?
Beyond the normal issue of the mortality of my nearest and dearest, strangely it is a fear of inertia. If I stop, I may not be able to start again.

What is the trait you most deplore in yourself?
Whenever I’m lazy enough to assume people think like me. It’s a kind of vanity that gets me in trouble a lot. Also, I tend to project a purity of heart into people who impress me, which is very child-like.

What is the trait you most deplore in others?
The inability to think for themselves. Or the need to define one’s core in five-minute sound bites.

Which living person do you most admire?
Living? Nelson Mandela would have to go down as one of the three great figures of the last century.

Which living person do you most despise?
Very tough question. They exist in the realm of war profiteers. These men and women are the lowest form of human consciousness, truly and completely spiritually fucked. Theirs is an amazing satanic dance: create a new market with war, bar competitors from the aftermath, then pay your own companies at a cost-plus basis, which guarantees profits, all at the taxpayers’ expense. They are the biggest welfare freaks on the planet.

On what occasion do you lie?
Only when awake or speaking or looking at someone …

What or who is the greatest love of your life?
The great white buffalo.

When and where were you happiest?
Hunting it.

Which talent would you most like to have?
Music. It seems the closest art to prayer and where the shamans roam.

If you could change one thing about yourself, what would it be?
Take myself less seriously. And I would try not to be famous for at least a week or two as an adult.

What do you consider your greatest achievement?
I couldn’t say I have one besides the small amount of good I’ve done for other people.

If you were to die and come back as a person or thing, what do you think it would it be?
An angelic (not demonic) non-corporeal presence. Would like to travel light.

What is your favorite occupation?
It would be great to be a medium.

Who are your favorite writers?
I can only speak to what has inspired me lately—meaning stuff I have read or reread by Garry Wills, Bob Dylan, Cormac McCarthy, Mark Leyner, Naomi Klein, Hunter S. Thompson, and J. D. Salinger.

Who is your favorite hero of fiction?
Just happened to reread Salinger, and Zooey Glass made me very happy indeed.

Who are your heroes in real life?
Let’s go with Jesus. Not the gay-hating, war-making political tool of the right, but the outcast, subversive, supreme adept who preferred the freaks and lepers and despised and doomed to the rich and powerful. The man Garry Wills describes “with the future in his eyes … paradoxically calming and provoking,” and whom Flannery O’Connor saw as “the ragged figure who moves from tree to tree in the back of [one’s] mind.”

What are your favorite names?
I like the name Doctor Zhivago.

What is your greatest regret?
That I have lived selfishly or fearfully (when I have).

How would you like to die?
While dreaming—would be a great transition.

What is your motto?
An old Yugoslavian proverb I always come back to: “Tell the truth and run.”

Viva Lost Wages

My brother is currently holding his bachelor party in Las Vegas with about 10+ buddies of his. Jeff left at the crack of dawn this morning to live the high life until Monday.

I just called to see what he was doing and who he was doing it with.

He told me: "It's fucking freezing here and it's raining. It's 60 degrees with 20 mile an hour winds. You know where we're at right now? We're out at the pool because, DAMMIT, we're in Las Vegas and we're determined to have a good time.

Me: "You guys are losers! HAHAHAHAHAHA. Make sure you get umbrellas for your drinks!

I want him to have a good time, but since I'm here alone with the kids for 4 days, a little piece of me is reveling in the unusually shitty Las Vegas weather.

Taboo

There are all sorts of folklore and mysticism surrounding menstruating women. One such folklore believed among the French as well as famous chef, Eric Ripert, and Becks & Posh is that menstruating women cannot make homemade mayonnaise for the mayonnaise will "break" or become soupy rather than a thick cream.

Michael Ruhlman, a great author who writes all sorts of cookbooks and non-fiction about cooking and chefs, wrote in his comment section that:

"... it is common knowledge in France, according both to Eric Ripert and Becks & Posh, that women who are menstruating cannot make mayonnnaise. It always breaks. Always."

Well, I went on to prove them wrong. Menstruating women CAN make mayonnaise that doesn't break and I commented as such.

And then Michael edited his post and wrote a nice shout out to Ripert, Becks & Posh saying so.

Once you’ve been tagged, you have to write a blog with 10 weird, random, facts, habits or goals about yourself. At the end, choose 6 people to be tagged, list their names & why you tagged them. Don’t forget to leave them a comment saying “You’re it!” & to go read your blog. You cannot tag the person that tagged you, so since you’re not allowed to tag me back; let me know when you are done so I can go read YOUR weird, random, facts, habits and goals.

1. When Brendon was in the hospital and we were told that he'd have to receive shots of insulin, my immediate impression was that we'd have to take him to the doctor once or twice a week to get an insulin shot....that's how clueless I was about the whole thing.

2. I read the very last page of a book first.

3. I don't believe in an afterlife. I believe that when we die, it's like the way we were before we were born.

4. I bite my cuticles and crack my knuckles often.

5. I haven't painted my fingernails in about 7 years.

6. I'm going to be a bridesmaid in my brother's wedding next month.

7. The couples from every wedding I've been a bridesmaid in are now divorced....and they're the only ones I know who are divorced.....(good luck brother).

8. I taught myself how to play Twinkle Twinkle Little Star on the piano when I was a kid. But that's all I know how to play.

9. I've been to 18 funerals in my lifetime (and I'm only 37!)

10. My goal is to travel the United States in an RV with Jeff either before or after we retire......

I tag the following 6 people because they're funny and interesting and I know I'll be highly entertained by whatever they choose for their 10 facts, habits, or goals:
Carey
Lea
George
Paige
Kate
Ed

It's Been Too Long

It's been a while since there has been a Youtube video that made me aLOL. I've finally found one.

Poor little Link. Despite getting picked on, he's the only reason this video is worth posting. I love his British accent.

Icing On The Cake

Jamie left a comment on my previous Mother's Day Post saying I was treated like a queen. That is for sure. Breakfast in bed, hugs and kisses from everyone. Hardly any fighting amongst the kids. It was the start of a beautiful day.

Brendon and Jeff were invited to go to a Fisher Cats baseball game, so I planned to take Jessica and Jacob to lunch at a lake and then to Charmingfare farm where they have farm animals as well as wild animals like bears and wolves.

I was going to top off the day with a trip to the nursery to buy some flowers and plants. I pictured my idyllic day ending with the smell of the earth and flowers.

Well, we had lunch at the lake (good ole Mickey D's) when Jacob complained his stomach hurt.

I was hoping he wasn't being hit with the same flu that Brendon and Jessica had fought with since Thursday.

He only drank his chocolate milk since his appetite seemed to have left him. He otherwise seemed fine and energetic, so I was hopeful that he was perfectly fine.

We finished lunch and headed over to the farm.

We got there, found an awesome parking spot and trekked across the parking lot.

Suddenly, Jacob lost his lunch....literally.

The poor kid.

We turned around and started walking back to the van only to stop every few seconds to let him puke up some more chocolate milk.

"The chocolate milk didn't work for me", he said between hurls. I just wanted to hug him at that point, but didn't trust the pukefest was over with.

We got him home and inflated the trusty blow up mattress that we use for bedtime when the kids have the stomach flu. It's so easy to clean up!!!

So, he and I spent the remainder of the day laying on the mattress with a pot next to him and with me relaxing, reading "Love in the Time of Cholera".

Later that evening, after Jeff and Brendon got home, we ordered take out for my special Mother's Day dinner. Jacob was feeling lousy, but he was hungry. He was able to keep down water and attempted a couple of bites of dinner, but he just didn't have the strength to finish eating.....

That is until it was time for Sunday night dessert time. He ate a ice cream sandwich which promptly came up into the kitchen sink right when he went over to wash his hands.

"The ice cream didn't work for me", he said between hurls.

The rest of the evening was spent with me laying next to Jake on the blow up mattress as I read some more.

Just the day in the life of a mom.....

Happy Mother's Day!

To all you awesome moms out there-

Have a great day today.

Breakfast in bed.
Cards from the kids.
Chocolate.
Bookmark.
John Grisham book.
2008 Calorie King Carb book.

Can't get any better than that :)

Meh.

You have to understand that if Brendon doesn't fight me on not going to his baseball game tonight, then he is truely sick.

I got a call from school this morning saying Brendon was low, terribly pale and that he threw up in computer lab.

I thought I royally mucked up his dosage as he was low at breakfast time when I tested him.

When the nurse tested him, he was a 72, but soon after, he was a 42. She was able to get enough tabs and juice into him to start raising his blood sugar.

I brought him home and tucked him into my bed while he watched Sports Center.

He said he wanted to rest so that he'd be energized for his game tonight.

I played around with a temp basal rate to keep his numbers from dropping and hoped he didn't actually have a stomach flu.

A couple of hours later, he was "nice" and high. But he was still lackadaisacal, so I was suspecting he was sick rather than affected by a low.

Then this afternoon, he bargained with his father that if he didn't feel well enough to play then could he watch the game? That was fine.

Through out the day, he was resting and complaining his stomach bothered him, but he seemed hopeful that he would still play.

Well, when the time came, he said he needed to lay down and that his stomach was bothering him. I told him he wasn't playing and braced myself for an argument from him. But he conceded and asked if he could watch. I told him it's not a good idea for him to go at all and braced myself again for an argument. But he conceded.

He just asked me what time it was. I told him it's 5:55.

"That's 10 minutes after my game started."

Responsible

Brendon will feign exhaustion if asked to clean up the mess he's made on any given occasion, regardless of the fact that seconds before I asked him he was running around like a lunatic. If I ask him to put away his clothes after I fold them, the furthest they get is on the floor at the entrance of his bedroom.

While he goes "half-way" with undesirable chores, I always make note how he goes full throttle when it comes to being responsible with his own diabetes care.

We had gone on a three hour trip to visit family and on the way home, we stopped at a rest stop for snacks and gas. I let the kids pick whatever junk they wanted if it meant a peaceful car ride home. While they picked at the assorted crap, they all zoned in on the "forbidden" Pop Tarts. Jessica and Jacob made their choice...some sort of Chocolate Sundae thingy. Brendon immediately picked up the same, but rather than tuck it under his armpit as his brother and sister had, he looked at the carb count.

"90 carbs!!?? I'm putting this one back."

And so he continued to look for a more suitably lower carb snack. As much as he's begged me in the past to buy him Pop Tarts ("Just this once, Mom.") he passed because he took his diabetes into account first and foremost.

When he gets his equipment packed for baseball practice, he may forget one thing or another, but he never forgets juice boxes and his test kit.

There are times when I'll tell him he needs to be checked while he's in the middle of playing, and he may tell me, "I feel fine, Mom. It's OK, you don't have to check me", but when I insist that he does need to be checked, he never balks or sulks or kick at the ground the way he would if I told him he has to put his dirty underwear in the laundry basket. He takes his lumps with dignity.

Yes, there are times when he wants to just be a kid.

The school nurse called yesterday to let me know he was in the 300's before lunchtime and when she told him how high he was, he pleaded with her to not make him wait around for a ketone check. He wanted to hurry up to the lunchroom so that he could eat in time and get to recess.

Overall, he certainly has made our job easier to deal with. Even as a toddler back during the early diabetes days.

I give him tons of credit for taking his diabetes care like a champ.

I worry at times that I let him take on too much and that as he gets older he'll burn out. But he seems to deal with his care without a second thought.

He knows his limits though. If he's had a long day or he simply doesn't feel like dealing with it and I've told him how many carbs he's getting for dinner, rather than automatically entering into his pump, he'll ask "Mom, can you do it for me?"

I do so, willingly.

I Had A Dream. I Had An Awesome Dream.

Last night I had a dream that I was working out or training for some sort of fitness routine. I'm not really sure why I was doing the following:

I was doing one arm pushups and was amazed at how easy they were. I couldn't figure out why they seemed like an impossible feat to perform when I thought about doing them on previous occasions. They wound up being a piece of cake to do.

After doing several of them, my legs lifted off the ground so that they were horizontal to the floor and I was able to balance myself as I continued doing more pushups. They were so EASY to do. It was awesome.

What Is There To Say?

• Jacob had a fun, rainy day birthday party on Sunday. The kids (and parents...interestingly enough mostly dads) had a blast playing with all of the neat science exhibits and having races hoisting themselves up in the air on chairs using the pulley system. Jess and Jake were not, however, impressed with the petrified ice cream (a.k.a. dehydrated ice cream that the astronauts eat). But they all enjoyed the Sponge Bob cake and all of the kids had seconds, after having had 2-3 slices of pizza. Don't their parents feed them??
• Brendon did really well pitching for his team's first official baseball game on Opening Day on Saturday. It was drizzly and our hands were gnarled into wet claws from the raw cold, but despite the poor weather, the boys did a great job playing without complaint. Unlike us parents who were muttering to each other about which inning it was and when would the game be over already.
• I'm signing Jacob up for soccer for the Fall. Registration is Tuesday already. The poor kid is the only one not involved in a sport because he missed the Little League cut off date by two days and they wouldn't give him an exception. He's the typical 3rd child who gets the short end of the stick. So, here he is having to wait for 5 months to get on some sort of team.
• I started Anna Karenina with the lofty intentions of finishing it. I bought it a couple of years ago when Oprah had it as her book club pick. I had several other books to read that I wanted to get out of the way so that I had no distractions and could sink my teeth into this 800 page monster. Holy Hell is it boring, so I'm going to pick up John Grisham's new release instead.
• Stayed tuned for a special interview with the cutie pie, John Cusack.

Oh, How They Amuse Me

Jessica: We're going to see Aunt Jen and Uncle Ian kiss at their wedding. And we'll see mom and dad kiss too.

Grandma: Are you going to kiss anyone?

Jessica: No way!

Grandma: Jacob, are you going to kiss anyone?

Jacob: No way!

Grandma: Why not?

Jacob: Because I don't want babies. I don't want all those babies comin' outta my tenticles.

--------------------------

Me: Jacob, go pick out an outfit to wear to your party.

Jessica: Jacob is going to wear his birthday suit.

Me: Do you know what a birthday suit is?

Jessica: Yes. It's pink and squishy and says Jacob on the front.

Happy Birthday Jacob!!

He's 5 years old today. He wants to go to Applebee's for his birthday dinner tonight. He'd like me to buy him baseball cards using the birthday money he received from his Nana. Last night when I tucked him into bed he asked if he would be 5 years old tomorrow. I told him he would be and that he'd always be my baby.

"Moooom....I'm not a BABAAAY!"

"OK OK you're not a baby. Good night."

"Mom?"

"Yes Jacob."

"Can you get me a sippy cup with water and ice?"

Guys And Gals

This here's a new post. So, you know what that means. YES!! Brooke went bye bye.

Brendon had a friend to the house and while eating lunch D asked Brendon if he still like L (a girl). He said, "No, I used to like her and then I dumped her. Now I like S." Then they laughed. I thought to myself, '1. Did L actually know that Brendon liked her and 2. Did she ever know that she was actually dumped?'

Jacob will only allow "boy songs" to be played on the radio because boys listen to boy songs and girls listen to girl songs. "Boy songs" are basically songs sung by male performers. In the same vein, Jacob asked me if I ever fart? I told him I try not to but sometimes I do on the potty. After he misheard me and I clarified for him that I do not fart in Karate, he said "You don't fart!! Only boys fart. Girls don't fart."

Jacob is having a birthday party on Sunday. Out of the 12 kids invited from his preschool class, only 4 have RSVP'd and only 2 out of the 4 are going. That childish insecurity in me is rising up. It's embarassing to face the few parents at the party and have them see that no one else showed up and perturbing to not have anyone RSVP and stand up Jake on his birthday when he's looking forward to his party.

So now that I thoroughly threw myself under the bus with my farting habits and insecurities, I will bid you adieu...for now.