I'm Tired Of This Sprinter/Wing...What Have You...Weather

It's Spring, right? I just need ya'll to confirm that it is because it's snowing right now. And back on Friday, I shoveled 8" of snow off of my driveway.

On the bright side, we did break the snowfall record set back in the 1800's....over 100" fell this Winter.

Fucking snow.

The Halfway Mark...Almost

I'm seeing a new WW leader first thing Saturday mornings and he's fucking evil. Damn him.

This morning, he was talking about trigger foods....the food item you eat that makes you go ape shit and causes you to eat non-stop.

So he's asking people what their trigger foods are and a guy says peanut butter. He goes through an entire jar in 3 days. Now that's the way to pull an Elvis. Dying on the crapper 'cuz you're all plugged up.

A woman speaks up and says she loves to dig into peanut butter with a spoon and dip it into a bag of chocolate chips.

Thanks bitch....I hadn't eaten breakfast by the way....I didn't want to mess up my weigh-in, but with all of this trigger talk, I'm about to go ape shit and tear through the member's pocketbooks to see who's hiding the candy bars or whatever secret goodies they've got stashed.

So, I'm really wanting this session to be over, or for the leader to change the subject, but no. He elaborates on the peanut butter and chocolate chip thing.

He says real slowly and seductively, "The mouths of the peanut butter jars got bigger, so you don't just dip the spoon in, you take a WOODEN spoon and dip it in real slow and then you pull it out real slow so that you have it coated with peanut butter."

It's sounding a little erotic, dontcha think?

He continues, "You don't just stop there. You take that yellow bag you have and open it wide and then you dip the peanut butter laden spoon into it and you get all of those chocolate chips coating the whole thing, and then you start licking it off and you get the chips up your nose and it's all over your face.

And then you're scraping the inside of the peanut butter jar and you know that lip under the mouth of the jar where you can't get the spoon? You have to take your pinky and swirl it around to get the rest. But you know what I do?

I run the water until it's warm and I fill the jar about a quarter of the way, put the lid back on and I shake it until all the peanut butter is cleaned off the sides. And then I drink the water."

I lost my appetite you sadistic bastard. You've redeemed yourself!

As of today, I've lost 11.8 pounds in 11 weeks doing WW. I have 16 pounds to go to reach my goal. According to the counter on the right I don't have a whole lot of time to lose it. But it doesn't mean it isn't possible to reach my goal.

I Just Want To Gather The World Into One Room......

And EDUCATE them!!

At the front of the row, I would like to place the checkout girl from the supermarket who looked at me like I was a single brain celled organism as well as another girl who was trying to convince me that ketones are OK for most people, but not for diabetics.

Excuse me checkout girl, but the next time you look at me like I'm the biggest idiot on Earth and inform me that sugar free Peeps are for diabetics when I ask you what is the point of the Peeps being sugar free, I'm going to run you across the conveyer belt and scan you.

For your information....and what I didn't have time to tell you because I didn't want to hold up the line, is that 3 sugar free Peeps have 23 carbohydrates. Do you know what that means? It means it'll raise a PWD's glucose level....and that is not a good thing unless they have the insulin to cover it. And guess what...simple sugar does the same thing. So again, I ask you...What is the point of sugar free Peeps?

To the girl who was trying to explain to me that ketones are a good thing to have because it means you're losing weight: Ketones are not a good thing to have.

When you tell me that it's OK for most people to have them, but not for diabetics, I just want you to know that it isn't OK for ANYONE to have ketones, and by the way, the Atkins diet should be outlawed. I know you were on it, and I appreciate you telling me what the book says, but you can lose weight on the Anorexia diet too. Diabetics are more prone to get ketones because of their compromised endocrine system. Thanks.

The Virtual Nutritionist

Brendon's endocrinologist AND, as of yesterday, his pediatrician have mentioned concern with Brendon's elevated cholesterol and weight. His pediatrician is awesome and I love that he wants every part of Brendon's health, both physically and emotionally, to be just right. I LOVE that.

In any case, I try to be careful about what I buy at the supermarket. I read labels and reject anything with trans fats and high fructose corn syrup. I travel the outer trail of the supermarket, buying the majority of items...whole foods as close to its natural state as possible with as little ingredients listed as possible. But, somtimes I buy things that aren't the best choices....like short-cut foods.

*There are nights when I serve Stove Top Stuffing instead of potatoes.

*I let the kids indulge in cheese cheese glorious cheese when they hound me relentlessly for a snack and I hope that all of that fat and protein suppresses their appetite until dinner is served....20 minutes later.

*I occasionally buy the 100 calorie snack bags for the times when I don't feel like doling out snacks by hand weighing them on the scale and calculating the carbs.

And *gasp* I let Brendon eat school lunches every. single. day.

But, things must change.

At Brendon's last endo appointment, his Doc pointed out that his cholesterol is elevated. She asked what I could do to improve his diet. She also suggested that we make an appointment with his nutritionist to see during his next endo checkup in 3 months.

When I took Brendon to his yearly pediatrician physical, yesterday, we found that:

His height is in the 90th percentile.

His weight....the 97th.

I'm not one of those delusional mothers whose children are clearly obese but claim that their child isn't fat, he's just big boned.

But, I will say that his skeletal and muscular frame is ginormous. My neighbor, whose son is Brendon's best friend, always tells me that she is in awe of his physique and claims he looks like a 15 year old.

Brendon is not obese, btw. He's a big kid, though. And yes, he does have a bit of excess fat on him, but I don't think it's something he won't grow into.

At the rate he is growing, he eats like an adult, but I KNOW that he indulges in snacks too much. Based on his carb intake during meals, I know that his calorie intake is pretty on par with what he should be taking in. So, the snacking has to be tightened up.

I will talk to the nutritionist about whether his weight is OK. I gather she'll tell us it could be taken down a notch.

I enjoy dealing with nutrition, reading about it, figuring out ways to improve it for everyone in my family. In fact, being a nutrionist is something I'm mulling around as a career for when it's time for me to return to work in a couple of years. Must get degree first!

In the meantime, I have already eliminated cheese. He drinks skim milk at every meal, so no worries about getting enough calcium.

I will start to make school lunches...blaaah.

And I will make potatoes instead of Stove Top stuffing.

My Life In Six Words Only

Twists, turns, detours still lead home.

Rules:

1) Write your own six word memoir; 2) Post it on your blog and include a visual illustration if you’d like; 3) Link to the person that tagged you in your post, and to the original post if possible so we can track it as it travels across the blogosphere; 4) Tag at least five more blogs with links; and 5) Don’t forget to leave a comment on the tagged blogs with an invitation to play!

Jillian tagged me, and now I tag the following...at risk of them being tagged by more bloggers than me:
Julia, Jamie, Paige, Penny, Brensdad

The Stuff Nightmares Are Made Of

Part 1

Brendon came into our room at around 2:30 in the morning. He woke us to tell us that he heard noises in Jessica's bedroom.

"There's someone in her room. When I looked under the door, I saw a big foot near her bed. There's someone in there."

Jessica sleeps with a nightlight, so there was enough light to illuminate her room.

I nudged Jeff to go check it out.

He got out of bed and slowly opened the door. There was no one in there. Jeff brought Brendon back to bed. Soon after, Brendon came back in saying he heard a banging noise downstairs like someone was trying to get into the house.

Jeff got up once again, and checked it out with Brendon in tow. There was no one out there, but Brendon wasn't convinced.

They came back into the bedroom where Brendon asked to sleep out the remainder of the night. I told him he couldn't because Jacob was then with him and he'd want to sleep in our bed.

Brendon pleaded with us. I said, "Brendon, no one is going to come into our house. You know why?"

"Why?"

"Because they're all sleeping!! Now get back to bed!"

I want to give a special shout out to my mom to thank her for telling me about an article she read in People Magazine where a guy with a knife broke into a house one night, and was about to attack the daughter in her bedroom when the parents heard muffled noises. They investigated and when they saw the guy, they wrestled him to the ground and waited for the cops to arrive.

Brendon overheard the story. When I told my mom to stop telling it in front of the kids, she proceeded to continue anyway.....I knew I'd be in for a sleepless night.

-----------------------------

Part 2

Jacob came to me asking about vampires. Why they sucked blood....do they know where we live.....where do vampires live.

I knew I had to tread lightly on the subject and not give away too much detail for concern that I'd feed his imagination to create an out of control mess at bedtime.

I told him vampires need blood because that is their food. They don't know where we live. Vampires live in Mexico (I thought I heard that vampires bats live there....I'm just flying with answers off the top of my head here).

"Mom. Do moskweetos drink blood? My teacher said they do."

"Yes. You're teacher is right."

"Are moskweetos like vampires?"

"Well, in a way they are because they drink blood, but they're so tiny. You'd just have a little red mark after they bite you."

A look of concern shot across his face.

Daaaamn it, I thought. Please don't let me be in for a sleepless night.

"Mom. Do moskweetos know where we live?"

"Yes. They're all over the place in the summer, but they can't hurt us."

"Lock the doors in the summer. I don't want the moskweetos to suck our bloods."

"Hey Jake...how many bloods do we have?"

"Only just a little bit. You have a lot, and I have a lot of bloods."

------------------

Part 3

I was working out in the basement while Jessica was rummaging through the holiday supplies I have stored away.

She came across a vampire wig...very long black hair with strips of white hair streaked throughout.

Later the next day, Jessica lured Jacob into the basement where she showed him the wig.

He bugged out and came running up the stairs.

"Tell Jessica to put the wig away!!!!"

"It's just a wig Jake", said Jessica.

"Don't show me that ever again! It's cweeping me out!"

The next day, Jake was enticed by the suspense and he and Jessica went down to the basement.

I heard shrieks and laughter as their little feet tumbled up the stairs as quickly as their legs could move them.

They still can't get enough of getting scared by the wig.

Spring (Give Me A) Break

To Whom It May Concern,

I must get my life, house, and family in order. Will be back sooner than later.

Take Care,
Shannon

Just When You Thought You've Heard It All

This news story is like an unbelievably bizzare story line from a show like ER.

My favorite quote is this one:

"It really doesn't surprise me," Ellis said. "What surprises me is somebody wasn't called in a bit earlier."

What exactly is a "bit" to you, Mr. Ellis. And this story sure as hell surprised me!

Woman Sat On Toilet For Two Years.

She had to be pried off of the seat for fuck's sake! I guess after hearing about infusion sets in the labia, this really shouldn't surprise me afterall.

You Are The Bain Of My Existence, 'tyworeuei'

You know what those random set of letters are, right?

It is representative of the goddamned letters for Blogger's word verification.

No matter how carefully and precisely I type in each and every letter, I am asked to do it again because I didn't get it right the first time, or the second time, or the third.

Grrrrrrrrr.................

Something You Didn't Know About Me

I'm left handed, but I use the computer mouse with my right hand. It's nice because I can still drink my coffee with my left hand.

Foiled

The other day, the touch pad on the stove wasn't responding at all when Jeff tried changing the clock ahead.

"So I can't use the oven?"

"Nope."

I thought to myself....

YYYYES!!!! I get a break from cooking!!

I'll have to order take out while Jeff's in Las Vegas this week. It'll be nice to not have to cook when I have the kids to myself for most of the week.

And once my stupidity cleared from my fogged up brains I then realized.....

I do most of my cooking on the stove top. I can make a mulitudinous amount of meals without ever needing to use the oven.

Fuck.

Would You Do This At Work?

I don't know what to say for this other than it had me nearly peeing my pants while watching it.

George showed the infomercial on his blog. It's an office chair that undulates in such a way that allows you tone your abdominals while you work.

Now here is someone who tries it in the real world. I don't know how he kept a straight face and earnestly went about his work day.

Maybe It's Because I'm Working On 3 Hours Of Sleep Today....

I received an email from Hillary's campaign chairman.

It essentially says:

Barack called Hillary a monster. Send her $5.

I found it to be hillarious and laughed my ass off for a few seconds. I felt the need to share that. Don't mind me.





Do me a favor Hillary or Barack.....

If one of yous guys gets elected, do what you can to push stem cell research to its full potential. I was up until 3:30 a.m. last night dealing with my son who has diabetes and was a 49 at midnight. It's not his favorite thing to be woken up to eat nearly an entire meal to get his blood sugars back up and then have to wake up for school and do well with his studies during the day. And it's no fun for me to stay up that late and having to wake up 3 hours later to get everyone ready for school and continue on with the day.

We really need a cure. Thanks. Much appreciated in advance.

He's Not Gumby, Dammit!

The four of us drove to Massachusetts for Brendon's endo appointment this morning. The three kids and I had a nice ride down with no fighting and no bathroom stops on the side of the road.

There are 3 issues:

A. His A1C went up to a 7.3 (but that is excellent and I'm happy with it...I don't focus on it going up...whatever the end result is is what counts)

B. He has high cholesterol

C. He has been sneaking food we've forbidden him (and Jess and Jake) to have.

Technology rocks the casbah since I don't have to flip through the logs and fill in the blanks in preparation for the endo.

Everything is downloaded from the pump and interpeted into pie graphs, lists of numbers, etc.

So, the endo looks everything over, asks Brendon directly about his lifestyle (afterall, he's the patient and old enough to speak for himself) and then she studies the numbers and makes some changes.

There was a change made by her directly to his pump, bumping up his breakfast and supper ratios as well as his overnight basal rates.

And then I asked her how old she was when she was diagnosed. She said she was 4 years old. After looking for it for the past 5 years, I finally spied her pump. It was hanging on her belt loop.

I asked her if she had eating issues, and she said no. I asked how her mother dealt with food while she grew up. She said her family generally ate healthy. She eats as healthy as possible now, she has friends who have the same healthy lifestyle, and her best friend is one of the nutritionists at the hospital. So she surrounds herself with people who are like-minded which helps her to keep on top of her nutrition.

I discussed with her an episode for which Brendon is now grounded for a week (No TV is killing him). He was told he couldn't have ice cream bars I had bought for myself. He was caught in the middle of eating one in the early morning, and we had warned him if he ate any more, he'd be grounded. The next morning, around 5 a.m., he ate 4 of them one right after the other. He dosed himself though.

She said don't go overboard with restrictions. As long as he covers what he eats, then it's OK. And if he did something he was forbidden to do, wait until we're calm and tell him we'll discuss the outcome at that time.

We don't restrict treats like cakes and cookies although they're not even a weekly occurance. Treats are pretty random.

I feel that maybe he, and Jacob and Jessica, go crazy over junk food because they don't know when the next treat is coming, so they get it while they can.

And Brendon has the will of a bull, so to trying to bend him to our own will is impossible, and not very fair....he's not Gumby, dammit.

He'll need to deal with food in a special way for the rest of his life, and we need to teach him how to deal with it according to how his own character is rather than tailor it to our character. I respect him as a person and for who he already is, not who I expect him to be.

We do, however, have expectations of him and his siblings (he will never be singled out....what is good for him is good for all of us as a family). We expect them to eat fruits and vegetables and lean meats for the best health and energy they can have.

But, treats make life a lot more fun, and when you have to deal with testing, bolusing, counting, subtracting, weighing and measuring, fun is good to have around.

I plan to make treats predictable by having dessert every Sunday night. I hope that if they know when it's coming, and that it will always be there when they expect it, they won't feel the need to cling to everything they set their sights on as a desperate way to fill that need to hoard when they don't know when the next treat is coming.

I'm trying to do things in the most logical and reasonable way while making sure my kids are well taken care of.

I'm sure they'll sneak goodies and still eat them in back of the couch. But, maybe they won't do it as much now that they have a steady supplier to feed their fix.

Double Down

When you're alone in a dark room at 2 in the morning as a result of insomnia, and you see a commercial like this one....you feel creeped out, you think maybe you're hallucinating, yet you find it strangely amusing and get a bad case of the giggles:

We Have Lift-off....

**Spoiler Alert At End Of Post.**

Yesterday, the kids were anxious to get into the basement where I have my "home gym" set up.

Brendon needed my help with a certain move on my old school Total Gym. I held the handles for him while he got himself positioned on the platform and took the reigns. He wanted to know what move to make for the biceps, so I showed him. And then he kind of switched things up to workout different parts of his upper body.

As he's heaving and ho-ing, he says, "I'm doing this for a reason."

"Oh yeah? What reason is that?"

"My friend at school said that he's stronger than me and I said that he isn't. Some of my other friends said that he's stronger than me, so I'm going to prove them wrong. We're going to have a lift-off to see whose the strongest. We're going to lift a really big snowball at recess, tomorrow."

"OK, Bren. Keep working out."

--------------------------------

Later that evening, we were all sitting at the table for dinner. Jessica asked Jacob if he's still in love with R at preschool. He said "NOOOO. N is in love with R now. I'm not anymore."

Brendon pipes in and says, "You should have a lift-off to see who should love her. Start working out to get stronger."

Boys and their macho mumbo jumbo.

Update: Brendon won the contest. While A lifted a big, huge snowball pretty high, Brendon lifted it over his head.

Kicking A$$ Now. Taking Names Later.

I'm feeling good. Daylight has been a bit longer. In fact, Daylight Savings starts next week!! I'm having dinner with a very good friend of mine on Friday, and I'm not sick anymore!

I had the worst cold in years that lasted a couple of weeks and I didn't realize how off track it got me. It majorly kicked my sorry ass.

My mood was in the doldrums, I hadn't exercised AT ALL, and Winter was getting the best of me with the endless inches of snow falling every chance it got.

So now, I'm getting back on track.

My Weight Watchers results have been passable, but I was losing under the 1 pound mark for the past couple of weeks which puts me behind on my fat eviction deadline.

I want to get rid of the fat once and for all, and I want to be beach ready for the Summer, so it's time to get back on the elliptical, start a new weight lifting routine and kick ass, beyotch!

Cooking Is Fundamental. It Puts the 'Fun' In My 'Mental'

Everytime I think of the word fundamental, I think of this story:

I had an English Lit professor whose favorite word was fundamental. He'd use it wherever he could possibly insert it into his lectures and it drove me stock-raving mad.

I complained about it to my roommate and was puzzled by the look on her face after I told her that his favorite word was fundamental.

"What's wrong? Why are you looking at me like that?"

"Because I can't believe he'd say that!!!! Like, so many times too!!!"

"I know, it drives me crazy."

"Does anyone say anything?"

"No, why would we?"

"I can't believe he says fucking mental all the time."

_________________________

Today I'm finishing off my awesome chicken soup that tastes soooo good and flavorful! The added rosemary made a big difference.

I'm making spaetzle the way my step-mother taught me to make it. It's a basic mixture of flour, salt, pepper, and egg with some water. Mix well. Make sure dough is loose, but firmer than pancake batter. Put a portion of it on a cutting board, take a very flat edged knife (butter knife is fine), cut a piece and push it off the board into a pot of boiling water. When the spaetzel floats to the top, it's done.

The spaetzel can be served as a side dish with some butter, or added to the soup. Carbs are about as much as it would be for normal pasta.

I'm also making panzanella salad with seasoned toasted chunks of Italian bread, and homemade balsamic vinaigrette.

We don't typically have dessert, but I feel like giving everyone a treat:

Brownies from a recipe off of the side of a baking cocoa container.

Running With Skizzers

It's snowing

and snowing

and snowing

and snowing

with more on the way. A foot when all is said and done.

I got my hair done last night and saw Rob's book reviewed in People magazine. I was startled (in a good way) to see him and his daughter, Schuyler, front and center on their own page!

My hair stylist gave me a glass of red wine and intriguing insight into the world of gay men. Without getting too personal, I was able to ask every question I wanted about gay men, how they view each other, etc. My hair stylist is the funniest, nicest person you could ever know.

Today, I am a blonde with a fabulous cut.

Last night, after my appointment, I headed to the grocery store to stock pile some food for the weekend and into the week.

I bought blueberries as an attempt to capture some Summer. This morning Jessica wanted to help me give them out as a snack and she dump a container on the floor.

Refusing to let Summer escape, I picked them up off the floor...that's right! I picked them up off the floor....and rinsed them off. And I served them to the kids. The floor was clean, so no harm.

I saw this:



in Bon Appetit magazine this morning in a Banana Republic ad. It's $200, so I'll just wait for a sale...if ever a sale is to be had on it. Or maybe I'll see something I like better for less money.

I'm making chicken soup right now. I had a couple of roasted chicken scraps frozen for such an occasion. I season my roasted chickens with sea salt, thyme (usually Rosemary, but I ran out when I last roasted them and bought some last night, so I'll sprinkle some into the stock), and marjoram. I kept the juices as well, so the stock will be flavored really nicely!!

Tonight I'm cooking Thai beef with some noodles I picked up at the Asian market a few months ago.

I'm in a cooking mood with this lousy weather swirling about me.

I'm trying to keep my head above water with all of this lousy weather swirling about me.

I'm going to make some peanut butter cookies in a little while.

Bye.