Toys My Kids WILL NOT Be Getting For Christmas

Tanner, Barbie's pooping dog. We have a real dog that I pick up after. I don't need to pick up Tanner's crap too when I clean house.


This doll is making a comeback: Baby Alive, the eating and shitting baby. It hits too close to home. My youngest son is still in diapers....I don't need another baby who still shits in her diapers too.


And this one was brought to my attention by Julia. My kids won't get The Punisher either. This one hits too close to home too. I see that expression on my husband's face when he hasn't gotten any. I don't need a doll looking at me that way either!

Ear of Corn, Big Ass Earphones, & A Little Trip

Jacob has got to be my most challenging child. Nary a day goes by when he isn't getting into some kind of trouble. Yesterday afternoon Jessica and Jacob were eating popcorn. I was upstairs when Jake came upstairs screaming his head off. Jessica explained that he got a piece of popcorn stuck in his ear. Just what I need. I looked inside and there was an entire kernel jammed in there right at the edge of the canal. I took a paperclip and tried to GENTLY pry it out, but it was tickling him too much, so I had to resort to taking him to the pediatrician which I volunteered Jeff to do as I had to finish getting ready to take Brendon to an ice cream social/parent-teacher night. The doctor wound up removing it using teeny tiny forceps. Looking forward to the next time Jake pulls the same stunt.

When I'm at the gym doing cardio, there isn't much to keep my mind occupied other than people watching. I study them, watch their routine, watch them interact with other people, etc. Well, last week, I had an eyefull of an old lady. She could've been 50 or she could've been 75. She had one of those faces that said "I've lived a rough life", so who knows. But all I have to say is, the woman didn't give a shit what she looked like. In a way I admire that quality about a person where they dress however they want without worrying about what people would think. But, she was so far out there, I just thought "doesn't this woman have pride?" She had short curly homepermed hair with thick Coke bottle glasses which magnified her eyes beyond human capacity. Aside from the white knee high socks, tight short shorts, a tucked in t-shirt and possibly Easy Spirit sneakers, she had on the biggest earphones I'd ever seen. They were in serious competition with her eyes. I was mesmerized. Watching her and studying her took up a good part of my cardio. Her head kept clunking on the machines. Oh what a sight to behold.

Lastly, Jeff and I are going to Martha's Vineyard tomorrow for the weekend. We're celebrating our 11th anniversary. I just want to sleep-in without any interruption. That is the only luxury I ask for. Otherwise, the day is free to do whatever..... We're staying at a B&B in Oaks Bluff. I read an online review by a guy who stayed at the place and here is what he had to say:

We first stayed at the Mansion House in Vineyard Haven for two nights, then moved over to this Inn.

It depends on what you are looking for, but I do not recommend this for the older crowd. We are in our 50's and we were by far the oldest of a pretty full house. Not that this was a bad thing but be prepared.

The house is older, but all of the Vineyard is. The rooms were clean, and we had # 9, which is a nice large room. Beware the shower door must be kept closed or the smoke detector will go off on you!

The Inn itself is nice, breakfast what you would expect, cookies, and a refrigerator for your wine. Lots of books, room to sit, and a porch overlooking Circuit Avenue.

This is where I have a few things to note. First of all, the speakers on the porch are hooked up for your ipod , so you find yourself listening to everyones favorite tunes, fairly loud. Not necessarily relaxing, and the one guy loved Cosby Stills, and it got pretty boring and anoying. My advise to Eric the inn keeper, kill that... It is not for the relaxing people. Yes, it is great for a party house, but that is not what an Inn in the Vineyard should be really.

Also the porch is full of everyone drinking, and Eric had champagne out for some guests, and not others. Again, kinda rude I thought. Some people were back for their fifth visit, and it was like Eric had company and we were intruding. This happened every night. Kinda strange I thought.

We did like the location very much, easy walk or cab ride. The maids did not clean room well, but that was okay.

You will see in some posts Eric thinks he is a cool dude. The fact is he is pretty nice but sorta like being in his house and he is a bit a of a hippy dippy. That again is fine, if you are 20=35, but beyond that, you may want to go somewhere else.

I want this review to be fair, and not to hurt his business, because he was very nice, and runs a nice business. But you sit on the porch while he parties both nites, he has his kids out there on the porch, the ipod is booming, and you expect the college kids to come storming in.

Sooo if you want a vacation that is for the cool,,,hip,,,,crowd, do this INN. You will really love it.

WE did have a good time, but I would go where we fit in better next time, and pay more.

Hard to explain,,,but if you go,,, you will see. It is kinda like being at woodstock

Umm, note to the guy who wrote this review: if you are in your 50's, isn't Woodstock your scene. It certainly isn't ours considering I'm in the 20-35 age bracket. And it's kinda hard to picture a bunch of college kids crashing the place in order to party when Crosby, Stills, & Nash is rocking the house.

On Monday, tune in to pictures and stories about our weekend!

Still Nothing Meaningful

OK, after seeing the comments from my good friends, here are highlights for tomorrow's post.

Popcorn kernel lodged in ear canal.

Old lady at gym wearing the biggest earphones since the 1970's.

11 year wedding-anniversary-weekend-getaway to Martha's Vineyard.

Sheldon J. Plankton

I just have to say that I love this little guy. He makes me laugh. Whenever the kids watch Spongebob, I sit with them hoping he'll be included in the episode. I had to get this admission off my chest for some reason. Carry on....

Lawbstahs Are Awesome!

I was itching to get out of the house and go on an adventure this weekend. I've been dying for lobster during the four years we've lived here in New England. Never had an opportunity to buy any big ones let alone afford them...until I investigated.

Thanks to the handy dandy Google, I came across a Co-op in Scarborough, Maine that sold lobster for 6.99 a pound. That's pretty good, right?

So we drove up 95 and found the place. We bought two 3 pounders. Let me tell you I just couldn't wait to crack those babies open, yum!

On our way back, we stopped at Old Orchard Beach. It reminded me a bit of Point Pleasant, NJ minus the boardwalk. The rides were shut down for the season, and so were the goddamn bathrooms! When you have three kids, and you drank a diet Coke during a long ass ride, it spells bladderfest. We scoured the pier for a place to go. Luckily, we found a bathroom in the arcade that I think was meant for the employees, but nobody stopped us, so tough titties!

After hanging on the beach for a while, we decided to make another stop in Kennebunkport. We drove along route 35 and managed to find the Bush compound. We checked out the 3 black SUV's that we imagined belonged to the secret service and a big speed boat anchored in the water....maybe to chase any bad guys? And no, those kayakers are not secret service agents...or maybe they are?? I swiped the picture from a Kennebunkport site, so who knows.

So that was our weekend adventure with an ending to a Sunday afternoon at Hampton Beach State park.

Bye bye Summer:( Hello Fall!! I can't wait to take another trip somewhere and take awesome pictures.

My Girl

Yeah, I'm here to brag. This girl of mine is something else.

First she potty trains herself...just up on the pot on her own initiative a couple months shy of being three years old...underwear ever since.

Then this weekend, she teaches herself how to tie her shoe. "Mom, is this how you tie a shoe?", she asks as she demonstrates. "Uh, yeah, uh, where did you learn to do that?", I ask, dumbfounded.
"I don't know", she says.

Now, tonight, she rode a bike for the first time. Just a little push from Brendon and she's off riding across the lawn. Never practiced before. She was never exposed to a bike without training wheels. She just happened to get on Brendon's bike and pedaled off.

Next month she'll be 5 years old. I can't imagine what the future has in store for her...or should I say, what she has in store for the future.

Eating Ice Cream In The Rain

Now that school has started and Brendon is no longer sheltered from life beyond our backyard, some issues have come up that have caused me to think of diabetes as being like eating ice cream in the rain.

You're eating a bowl of ice cream outdoors with not a care in the world and along comes a rain cloud. Now eating ice cream outside is fun. Unlike eating it indoors, you can get messy, letting the ice cream create a beard around your mouth dripping from your chin, more ice cream dripping down your arm and off your elbow if you happen to be eating it from a cone.

But that pesky rain cloud is sitting overhead and it squeezes out a load of rain that makes your ice cream a diluted puddle of crap. You can continue eating your ice cream since it's still technically edible, but it would taste like hell.

How can you prevent that from happening? Well, logically, get an umbrella, or sit on a porch...basically use anything that will provide shelter without completely enclosing you and sheltering you from the outdoors. There. Now you can sit outside while it's raining and still enjoy your ice cream.

Where is this metaphor going, you might be asking. Well, Brendon's dreams of being a first grader has included being able to ride the school bus and eat a hot lunch from the school's menu. The bus is no problem as it doesn't interfere with his diabetes. But, oh, do the school lunches ever interfere. Instead of letting the rain (diabetes) wash away his ice cream (eating a school lunch), the school nurse kindly spent her holiday weekend getting in touch with someone who deals with the school lunches and, together, they went through each meal and worked out the carb count. So now Brendon can get a hot lunch without the nurse or me worrying about what the heck to dose him for.

Another situation came up concerning playing at a friend's house. His friend's mother (our neighbor) called me saying that we have to work something out about Brendon coming over to play more often. She said when the kids come off the bus, most of them come to her house to play while Brendon looks on as he walks home. She said the other kids come and go as they please, but she feels responsible for Brendon and it seems like she's always telling him he can't come over because she can't always watch over him.

Instead of letting it rain on his ice cream once again, I told her that I would check him as he got off the bus, make any necessary adjustments with his insulin and/or snack to prevent any lows from occuring during the time he's at her house. This way, she won't feel like she has to watch over him constantly. I also told her that her son is always more than welcome to play at my house as well, so it wouldn't always be one sided.

Diabetes can put a real damper on fun times and carefree moments. But holding up that umbrella can be exhausting. The hardest lesson for Brendon to learn at his age is that when an umbrella isn't available, he won't be able to eat ice cream without it getting mucked up. Or that sometimes I'll avoid giving him a bowl of the good stuff because there is nothing available to shelter him. That's one of the injustices of having diabetes....always needing shelter to do the most benign things.