Jeff and I had a "date night" on Saturday. He wanted me to surprise him. So I did.
I chose a place called The Chateau which is a steak house/martini bar/banquet hall/comedy club.
My intention was for us to go there, have dinner and then experience some good comedy along with a dirty martini.
Here's how the night went instead:
Babysitter was late because on the way home from a waterpark she and her family went to earlier in the day, they got a flat tire and had to wait for AAA to come and help them.
So, after pushing back the dinner reservations twice, I realize we were strapped for time in order to make the show, and I instructed Jeff to stop at Burger King for dinner where he ordered his meal and I ordered Chicken Fries washed down with a medium Coke.
We had plenty of time before the show started though, so we walked around Manchester where we passed by some hoodlums, a couple of biker dudes looking like they were ready to rumble, and a bum in a wheelchair.
I suggested we get some dessert while waiting for the start time of the show, so we walked over to Ben & Jerry's.
That turned out to be pretty good.
Afterward, we walked back to The Chateau while I finished up my ice cream cone on the way. At the corner of an intersection, with cars stopped at a red light, I tripped a wild trip, and instead of falling, I twisted my ankle, but held onto my cone dammit!! Humiliated and limping, we continued walking while Jeff was laughing his ass off.
We make it to the club section of the restaurant, entered the seedy little room and sat in the way back under a light which highlighted our presence, center stage.
First comedian was lousy....he was heckling the hecklers. "Please don't heckle me...please, please, please" I thought to myself. Of course he looks straight ahead, to the back of the room:
"Where are you folks from?", he asks Jeff and I.
"From (name of town)", I said.
"Oh, you came a long way, didn't you." Can you smell the sarcasm?
Whew...got off easy.
Second comic was pretty funny.
The third comic, the headliner, was funny and he got the impression that all of us had demented senses of humor, so he let loose with an indescribably tasteless joke about having sex with a woman who had a double mastectomy and what he did when he needed to climax.
So in response, some Army guys who finished up a couple of tours in Afghanistan and one in Iraq (we found out all of this from conversations they had with each of the three comics) said:
Army guy from Indiana: "That was a mean joke"
Comic: "Oh, you guys were shot at over in Iraq and you think a joke like this is mean?"
Army guy from Indiana: "Hell, we KILLED guys over in Iraq and we STILL thought the joke was mean"
Luckily the roudiest of the Army guys was too drunk to stand let alone say anything intelligible, so the comic went on with the rest of his routine.
That, folks, was date night.