Mom Wants A Diabetes Cure

Tuesday, February 19, 2008

SLAP

I take for granted the daily tasks I do day in and day out.

Make breakfast
Check glucose
Fold laundry
Grocery shop
Sit down to dinner
Dose insulin

For five years, there was something about the way I coped with managing Brendon's diabetes that I couldn't put my finger on, but I finally did the other night.

Brendon was tested in the middle of the night, and he was a 45.

So I made a sandwich while Jeff brought juice up to him.

We roused Brendon from his deep sleep and we picked him up to prop him upright. He sat on the bed on his hands and knees, one fisted hand rubbing the sleep and confusion out of his eyes as we put the cup to his lips and he took sips.

I put the sandwich to his mouth and watched him eat.

SLAP. Out came diabetes with a white glove and slapped me across the face.

"DO YOU SEE WHAT I'M DOING TO YOUR SON? LOOK AT THE THINGS I DO TO HIM! CAN'T YOU SEE IT?!"

Yes I can. I can see it. Clear and crisp.

I watched Brendon take bites of the sandwich and couldn't hold back the tears. I turned my head from Jeff and tilted it downward so that Brendon couldn't see the tears either.

What I couldn't put my finger on all those years and finally did that night was that I go through day to day management tasks with little emotion behind it....my senses were dulled.

But, that night, Brendon and his condition were brought into crystal clarity and I felt it.

Diabetes has lightly slapped me on other occasions during the most mudane of times, like when I'm weighing food, or giving Brendon a cotton ball to soak up the blood from his finger. And although I'd rouse from my own slumber and see the depth of Brendon and his condition, it would only last a second, and I could never articulate the effect or reasoning behind those slaps.....until now.

My senses are razor sharp.

11 Comments:

  • Well said.

    By Blogger Brett, at 2/19/2008 8:59 AM  

  • I did a post kind of like this a while back.

    My slap came during a low in the middle of the night too. I was sitting on Riley's bed rocking him back and forth in my arms waiting for his sugar to rise and I caught a glimpse of us in his TV screen. It hit me how wrong it was and how unfair it was.

    I think we have to push things aside most of the time. If we let every finger prick and every low get to us we would be useless to our kids.

    But, I think it is also good for us to feel the pain and sadness from time to time. It keeps us human and compassionate. It keeps us fighting for a cure.

    (((hugs)))

    By Blogger Penny, at 2/19/2008 9:27 AM  

  • Wow...

    Shannon, being the empathetic and loving mother of a child with diabetes is no small task, but I know you are so blessed to have your kids and they are oh so lucky to have you!

    By Blogger Amylia, at 2/19/2008 9:46 AM  

  • Great post Shannon.

    By Blogger Scott K. Johnson, at 2/19/2008 10:26 AM  

  • This just goes to show what great parents you are, diabetes or not. Be strong and know that your son will be OK :)

    By Blogger Araby62, at 2/19/2008 10:55 AM  

  • So true about the dulled senses. It really becomes very businesslike and mechanical day after day; hour after hour. Sounds like a good cry, if that makes sense.

    By Blogger Carey, at 2/19/2008 11:14 AM  

  • I just want to say Brendon will be OKAY, and I know that doesn't mean a lot because right now all of this hurts you so much. You are a great mom!

    By Blogger Jillian, at 2/19/2008 12:35 PM  

  • This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

    By Blogger Russell, at 2/19/2008 1:35 PM  

  • This comment has been removed by the author.

    By Blogger Shannon, at 2/19/2008 1:44 PM  

  • I liked the post. I think I must still be in the mechanical phase as I still just 'go through the motions' but I know there will come a day...

    I love your blog - it refreshes me and keeps me alert.

    Infact, I just looked at all our vacation photos and there is one constant... the medic-alert bracelet Tomas wears shows up in all his photos.

    By Blogger Carmen & Todd, at 2/19/2008 11:43 PM  

  • Great post. So timely for me. Thanks for writing it.

    By Blogger Lisa, at 2/20/2008 3:37 PM  

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