Mom Wants A Diabetes Cure

Friday, February 15, 2008


I feel it's time to spend one on one time with my kids. We are always together and our relations are filled with vying for attention from me that I can't give to each one as they need.

I particularly feel the need to spend alone time with Jessica. I'd like to take Jessica to mother/daughter outings away from our testosterone filled house whether it's doing something girly like getting manicures together, doing something 'cultural' like going to a children's museum, or simply hanging out in a little restaurant having lunch.

I thought if I started now, we'd have the establishment of a relationship where she can feel comfortable opening up to me later on.

I can be excited for her as she tells me about a vibrant love.

I can relate to her broken heart and tell her that although the pain is palpable, she'll overcome the hurt and that the best revenge is to live a good life.

I can relate to deciding whether to trust first instinct, or intellect, or the heart.

I can reassure her that making mistakes are OK. It helps a person improve their lives and decision making skills provided you don't be an idiot by making the same mistakes over and over.

I can counsel her on decisions she's making in her life if she asks.

Or I can simply listen.

It would be nice to relate to my daughter aside from disciplining and telling her to get her pajamas on and brush her teeth.

I don't expect to be a friend, but I do hope that as her mother, she'll see me as someone she can trust and not fear judgement for how she conducts her life provided it's not hurtful to herself or others. Only then might I become a meddling mother.


  • If there is one thing I could wish for all girls, it is an open relationship with their mothers. I have friends who hide things from their moms, and wonder how I'm able to tell my mom everything.
    I'm not exactly sure what the recipe for success is, but it sounds like you have a good plan!

    By Blogger Jillian, at 2/15/2008 2:01 PM  

  • Thanks! Yeah, who knows how she'll be when she's older, but I guess leaving myself available to her might help. One can't predict the future.

    By Blogger Shannon, at 2/15/2008 2:14 PM  

  • Shannon, just the fact that you are contemplating your future relationship with your daughter, goes a long way. I have a feeling that you girls will do fine. Don't get me wrong, there are a few years that you both will want to give up on the other, just make sure you don't because better days will be on the way. Here is some advice to tuck away for those years: When you find that you don't like her very much, tell her how much you love her. When you fight and you are wrong, let her know and apologize. Let her know that you are her mom first but that sometimes that makes you a better friend. Know that she hears you even when you don't think she is listening. She may not always take your advice but she is considering it and storing it away for future use. Above all else, a couple of cups of hot chocolate at the kitchen table or two spoons and a pint of ice cream, not only can make them open up and spill the weight of the world but can be the start of great solutions to the problems and the hurts she holds in her heart.
    You are a great mom, she is blessed to have you.

    By Blogger Vivian, at 2/15/2008 3:02 PM  

  • I loved this post. Being the mom of two girls, I'm guilty of often lumping the two together in activities. I, too, often feel the need to seperate and spend alone time with each of them as well. Only thing is, is that if you go and have a "fun activity" with one alone - you have to make sure you do it with the other, or there's a serious pout going on.

    I hope that individually and all three of us form a special bond when they're older too. Fingers are crossed (cause I know we're going to hit that period in time when we're all going to drive each other batty - just hoping I can keep my wits about me during that time frame!!).

    You're a good mom, Shannon :)

    By Blogger Jamie, at 2/15/2008 5:19 PM  

  • Is tomorrow going to be a picture and post for Jacob? I'm sensing a theme.

    By Blogger Jillian, at 2/15/2008 8:05 PM  

  • Shannon,
    My daughter & I fought constantly while she was growing up. With her & my son being in so many activities, there was very little time for us to find time alone to talk, to share, etc. I supported her in everything she was involved in & never missed a game, meet, spelling bee or competition. So I was always there, but we were so busy!

    Now that she's an adult, we get along great. There's more time for fun, shopping, eating out, laughing, and being friends. Even though her early years were hectic, we look back on them & remember good times & laugh a lot. You'll do the same someday, I'm sure.

    By Blogger Donna, at 2/15/2008 8:56 PM  

  • I love this post! I have been thinking a lot lately about what Isabelle will be like when she is older and how our relationship will be. Lots to think about.

    By Blogger Lisa, at 2/15/2008 10:29 PM  

  • Jillian...I thought about the Buddha story and needed a pic to go with it. Going through the pictures made me realize how much I missed seeing them as babies and wanted to post their pictures. I guess it's sort of a theme. It wasn't really precalculated. It just sort of happened. Eventually I'll write one about Jake and post a pic with it :)

    By Blogger Shannon, at 2/16/2008 12:54 AM  

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