Mom Wants A Diabetes Cure

Saturday, February 16, 2008

The Second Coming Of Anthony Bourdain

"....that elegant three-star concoction is the collaborative effort of a team of 'wacked-out moral degenerates, dope fiends, refugees, a thuggish assortment of drunks, sneak thieves, sluts, and psychopaths,' in all likelihood pierced or tattooed and incapable of uttering a sentence without an expletive or a foreign phrase."
-Anthony Bourdain, Kitchen Confidential

When I read that passage in Kitchen Confidential, my mind immediately brought Jacob into focus. Is that my son folded into the description of the hardscrabble world of chefs?

Jacob is my sous chef in the kitchen. He is completely and utterly fascinated by the kitchen world. I have my cutting knives and pointy objects, like lobster forks, high up on a shelf in the kitchen cabinet because of his penchant for pulling them out once upon a time (when he was around two) and said, "I want to cook!" I felt like a negotiator calmly speaking to a crazed criminal who was on the edge of calm, weilding very sharp knives.

I gave him a cookbook written by Alice Water's daughter, Fanny At Chez Panisse, that he reads like a story book.

He knows how to cook oatmeal in the microwave and adds cinnamon with milk, he makes a peanut butter and jelly sandwich without the mess, and he toast waffles, cutting them into strips with a butter knife and dips them in a small cup of syrup. He also whips up a mean batch of scrambled eggs....all at the tender age of 4 years old. Yes, safety is high priority in the kitchen, so don't think he stands over a hot flame while cooking the eggs! His responsibilities are to whisk the eggs and to tell me when I should take them off the flame.

While Jessica and Brendon are off in their own little worlds bickering, or watching Hannah Fucking Montana, Jacob is in the kitchen with me assisting in adding spices and opinions as to what else to add to a meal. "How about adding soy sauce, mommy."

He is the one to get into the most trouble in the family. All fingers point to Jacob when a scribbling is discovered on the wall, or black tipped matches are discovered in the corner of the kitchen.

So, I feel that in order to harness his deviant behavior and direct it toward the good light, I am taking advantage of his interest in cooking by teaching him all he needs to know to make spectacular meals.

Maybe one day you'll see him on the Food Network instead of America's Most Wanted ;)


  • Would that rock, or what?
    My BIL is a chef, much because my MIL is a super awesome cook and passed that on to whoever was listening. He was. She's also not bad to ask for advice, but I'm pretty good in the kitchen in my own right.

    Kitchen Confidential was recommended to me by my BIL - I'm a Bourdain devotee, so your reference drew me right in.

    Let us know when he has his own show!

    By Blogger Sunshine, at 2/16/2008 4:20 PM  

  • Shannon,
    This is too cute! I love the last picture. Does that say it all or what?

    By Blogger Donna, at 2/16/2008 4:39 PM  

  • And the circle is complete.
    Each of your kids sound amazingly individual. You must be a wonderful mother to have such spectacular kids. Jake sounds like a little rock star.

    By Blogger Jillian, at 2/16/2008 6:15 PM  

  • anthony bourdaing f-ing rocks!

    my daughter holly is going to the CIA (St. Helena) after her high school graduation. she's 17 now. she's been in the kitchen just like jacob. we started buying her expensive global knives for christmas and her birthday (a knife for each event).

    her fave is Duff Goldman. She is going to go through the baking and pastry program.

    keep him interested, and you'll be surprised where it goes!

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at 2/16/2008 9:02 PM  

  • I have a massive crush on Anthony Bourdain. IMO, the world needs more people like him, so Jacob is heading down the right path.

    By the way, I have copyrighted Hannah Fucking Montana, so you owe me a nickel for its use.

    By Blogger Major Bedhead, at 2/17/2008 5:58 PM  

  • LMAO - this post had me giggling through the entire thing.

    Jacob sounds like a riot. :)

    A little chef in the making! And add me to the list of Anthony Bourdain fans. Although I had a really weird dream with him in it once .... still, the guy rocks :)

    By Blogger Jamie, at 2/17/2008 10:55 PM  

  • Look at little Jacob doing the gangsta lean with that spatula!! I love it.

    By Blogger Lea, at 2/18/2008 10:25 AM  

  • Ok -

    Harness the boys dark power and continue to steer towards all things culinary.

    I see a cooking show and a line of cookware in that boys future!

    By Blogger k2, at 2/18/2008 11:17 PM  

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