The Second Coming Of Anthony Bourdain

"....that elegant three-star concoction is the collaborative effort of a team of 'wacked-out moral degenerates, dope fiends, refugees, a thuggish assortment of drunks, sneak thieves, sluts, and psychopaths,' in all likelihood pierced or tattooed and incapable of uttering a sentence without an expletive or a foreign phrase."
-Anthony Bourdain, Kitchen Confidential


When I read that passage in Kitchen Confidential, my mind immediately brought Jacob into focus. Is that my son folded into the description of the hardscrabble world of chefs?

Jacob is my sous chef in the kitchen. He is completely and utterly fascinated by the kitchen world. I have my cutting knives and pointy objects, like lobster forks, high up on a shelf in the kitchen cabinet because of his penchant for pulling them out once upon a time (when he was around two) and said, "I want to cook!" I felt like a negotiator calmly speaking to a crazed criminal who was on the edge of calm, weilding very sharp knives.

I gave him a cookbook written by Alice Water's daughter, Fanny At Chez Panisse, that he reads like a story book.

He knows how to cook oatmeal in the microwave and adds cinnamon with milk, he makes a peanut butter and jelly sandwich without the mess, and he toast waffles, cutting them into strips with a butter knife and dips them in a small cup of syrup. He also whips up a mean batch of scrambled eggs....all at the tender age of 4 years old. Yes, safety is high priority in the kitchen, so don't think he stands over a hot flame while cooking the eggs! His responsibilities are to whisk the eggs and to tell me when I should take them off the flame.

While Jessica and Brendon are off in their own little worlds bickering, or watching Hannah Fucking Montana, Jacob is in the kitchen with me assisting in adding spices and opinions as to what else to add to a meal. "How about adding soy sauce, mommy."

He is the one to get into the most trouble in the family. All fingers point to Jacob when a scribbling is discovered on the wall, or black tipped matches are discovered in the corner of the kitchen.

So, I feel that in order to harness his deviant behavior and direct it toward the good light, I am taking advantage of his interest in cooking by teaching him all he needs to know to make spectacular meals.

Maybe one day you'll see him on the Food Network instead of America's Most Wanted ;)