How Did I Fall Into This Gig?

I'm about to sit in front of the TV with my coffee, 2 baskets of laundry, and Kelly & Reeg to keep me company while I fold and separate clothes as the kids run around fighting and kicking a soccer ball, and I yell at them to be quiet because their father is sleeping because he worked all night last night and they don't want him coming down all angry because they're making too much noise and he can't sleep, and then I invoke the Brady Bunch Rule by telling them I said not to play ball in the house.

This is all happening just this morning...I have about 11 more hours to go until they're in bed.

And I chose to be a SAHM why?

EDIT: I need to add some complaints. I'm having a hard day today. I'm hoping that writing them out will help provide some relief.

The dog fucking smells BAD. She rolled in something outside and I called the groomers, but got the answering machine. I hope I can get her in today.

Jessica's whining and screaming is getting on my last nerve.

Brendon wants to go for a walk and I'm trying to get the kids to get dressed and ready to go. Their transition times suck (triathlon reference).

The noise the kids make is getting to be unbearable.

Alcohol is losing it's effect (not that I had one....YET). One beer isn't doing it for me...I'm wound up tighter than a nun's who-ha. I don't want to drink more. I don't want to be a classic alcoholic SAHM. No wonder why 1950's and 60's housewives relied on martinis and Valium to get them through the day.

The house is a fucking wreck. I'm literally locking the kids out of the house so that I can clean up without them coming up behind me undoing all that I did.

I didn't even shower today nor will I because leaving the kids unattended is inviting impending fucking doom.

Jessica is crying because Jacob has her walkman.

OMFG it's only 10:38 a. fucking m.

Writing all of this out provided no fucking relief whatsoever.

Maybe it'll help if I say fuck out loud about 100,000 times.

Thanks for bearing with this rant whomever chooses to read it.