"Ahhh, I've Got My Pump Back"

You couldn't have felt his relief more if you were Brendon himself.

The shots he'd been taking since Saturday hadn't hurt him a bit and he never complained about getting them. In fact, he took it so well that I asked him what he'd rather have, shots or his pump. "There are no stupid questions...just stupid people". Dumb mom....why'd I even bother asking? He wanted his pump of course.

I didn't realize how spoiled I'd been until we had to give Brendon shots again after over 3 years.

During his first year of diagnosis, I HATED HATED HATED having to manage his diabetes. Living by the clock, drawing up and measuring quarter unit increments...sometimes quarter units were too much for him....fuck. Jessica and Jacob were babies and needed their mom every second of the day, but I had to leave them crying and needy while Brendon needed such time consuming immediate attention. That was the hardest most painful time of my life....you've all read the stories I've written before...you know the rest.

The pump crapping out came at the time when he was starting Art Camp. Because we put him on Lantus...and because he needed a shot everytime he ate...and because I wouldn't be there to dose him when they had their snack...he wouldn't be able to eat it with the other kids. For a seven year old VERY SOCIAL boy, that is monumentally disasterous. He wants in on everything and hates to be left out (don't we all?).

I offered to give him some rolled up ham and cheese to bring in, but he didn't want to be different and bring in something when no one else was going to.

On that first day at camp, each child, including Brendon, picked out their snacks from the teacher's stash, sat at their assigned seats, and ate their snacks....while Brendon colored and drew....his snack untouched.

On the second day, I again offered to pack him some ham and cheese, but he refused it. The teacher told me she gave him a no carb snack so that he could eat with the rest of the class....a snack of ham and cheese. Then she told me she gave out little cupcakes to each child and Brendon had an incident where the cupcake "accidently" touched his lips. Whatever he could do to get a smidge without it affecting his blood sugars (his teacher and I looked at each other knowingly, hehe).

All along he had been talking about not being able to wait to get his pump. When I hooked him up after receiving it from the UPS guy, it was like I gave him back his right hand after having it cut off. He could live "normally" again without giving life a second thought.

The shots were given over the course of only a couple of days, but when you've been living a certain, easier way, and have to return to when things are a bit more difficult, the difficulty is magnified so much more.

And mom is very relieved also. You don't know what you got 'til it's gone (what Big Hair band sang that line?).

Man, did these few days make me realize how exquisitely spoiled I've been all of these pumping years.