Mom Wants A Diabetes Cure

Monday, July 09, 2007

It's OK To Laugh, Right?

The human body is a wonderous, beautiful thing, and I don't have a problem whatsoever being blunt and matter of fact while discussing its many functions and uses whenever my three highly curious children come to me with their ideas and questions. However, I think I need to do a better job at fielding questions. I have no good sex ed speeches prepared and I have the immature tendency to laugh at ANYTHING which is not conducive to my authoritative parenting role.

Jacob likes to be buck nekked whenever possible and so it's inevitable that he explores his body. Hell, he's male and even if he wore a suit of armor, it wouldn't stop him from exploring.

Anyway, he comes to me while pinching his little baby testicle through his sac and asks me what it is. I tell him it's his testicle. He thoughtfully repeats the word. Then he asks me what's inside of it. I tell him that when he is a husband, it will give his wife babies.

He caught me offguard, O...K!


Suddenly he screams like a girl who's had her pigtails yanked and runs away yelling "THERE'S BABIES IN MY TESTICLES!!!"

I laughed hysterically. I was too weak from laughter to correct this misconception.

Later he comes to me nekked once again (I honestly dressed the kid, and do so all day long...he's allergic to clothes apparently) and he must've discovered the other one becauze he wants me to confirm that he has two testicles. Yes, you have two testicles...that's a natural fact.

He couldn't have been more ecstatic to know that he has not only one testicle, but two of them! He brags to his brother and sister: "I have two testicles in my peanuts!! You wanna feel them?" They recoil and run away (his siblings, not his testicles).

I laugh myself to tears. On a side note, I haven't got it in me to correct his mispronunciation of the thing he holds so dearly...I need him to stay my baby just a little while longer.
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While driving on that fruitless strawberry picking day, Brendon slightly raised his middle finger and asked if that meant a swear word. I said yes it does. He of course asked which swear word it meant and I told him I didn't want to say it out loud. He enthusiastically offered up a guess and asked in a whisper if it meant fuck. I was honest and said yes it does. I felt very mature for not laughing.

Once we got home, Brendon valiantly stuck his pinky up in the air and declared that the gesture had the same meaning in China as did the middle finger in America. Intrigued yet skeptical, I asked him who told him that. His best friend, C did. I just let it go. Let him believe it...what's the harm?

Jessica caught wind of the pinky information and at breakfast the next morning, she held up not one pinky, but BOTH pinkies up in the air and declared that this means it's a pinky swear and that it meant a bad word in Japanese.

As I laughed at her "pinky swear" mistake...for crying out loud girl, pinky swear is a promise, not a curse word...she thought I was laughing at a different mistake and said no no no, wait wait wait...it means a pinky swear in CHINESE not Japanese.

I didn't have the energy to get into the difference between swear as in curse word, and swear as in promise and whether it was even a legitimate gesture at all!! I was laughing too damned hard.

7 Comments:

  • oh...my...gosh. ha!!! (And it IS okay for me to laugh. It IS.)

    By Blogger Rachel..., at 7/10/2007 7:24 AM  

  • "Peanuts" is awesome! I also don't like to correct the cute mispronunciations.

    Over the weekend Charlie went to his cousins house and went on their "jumpoline."

    By Blogger Carey, at 7/10/2007 11:09 AM  

  • Oh Shannon! I would have been rolling over the whole babies in his peanuts thing. Kids are so awesome.

    By Blogger Vivian, at 7/10/2007 11:33 AM  

  • Oh good GOD!!!! ROFLMFAO - at work - no less... My co-workers want to know what's so funny. I am doing everything I can not to tell them that my friend Shannon's son has babies in his testicles which are located near his peanuts, as I flip them the pinky swear... :DDDDD

    By Blogger Nicole P, at 7/10/2007 12:24 PM  

  • The fact that you had to specify that it was his siblings and not his testicles that ran away had me laughing so hard I needed to excuse myself from my desk. :D

    By Blogger Kerri., at 7/10/2007 1:41 PM  

  • It's not really called peanuts? :(

    By Anonymous Darrell, at 7/10/2007 3:38 PM  

  • Peanuts! That one is too cute!

    Giving the baby finger is a good thing to know

    By Anonymous tongue in cheek, at 7/15/2007 11:32 AM  

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