Mom Wants A Diabetes Cure

Tuesday, July 22, 2008

Pulling Out The Velveteen Rabbit

I thought today was going to be a good one until he was in the 400 range again.

It was time to pull out Old of the hundreds of neglected needles we have stashed in the closet, but are always there just in case they're needed. They were once used all of the time...every day...several times a day until one day they weren't needed anymore. Yet, there they remained...waiting for his pump to stop working, or for some other mishap that they may need to rescue Brendon from.

It sort of reminded me of The Velveteen Rabbit:

The Skin Horse had lived longer in the nursery than any of the others. He was so old that his brown coat was bald in patches and showed the seams underneath, and most of the hairs in his tail had been pulled out to string bead necklaces. He was wise, for he had seen a long succession of mechanical toys arrive to boast and swagger, and by-and-by break their mainsprings and pass away, and he knew that they were only toys, and would never turn into anything else. For nursery magic is very strange and wonderful, and only those playthings that are old and wise and experienced like the Skin Horse understand all about it.

"What is REAL?" asked the Rabbit one day, when they were lying side by side near the nursery fender, before Nana came to tidy the room. "Does it mean having things that buzz inside you and a stick-out handle?"

"Real isn't how you are made," said the Skin Horse. "It's a thing that happens to you. When a child loves you for a long, long time, not just to play with, but REALLY loves you, then you become Real."

"Does it hurt?" asked the Rabbit.

"Sometimes," said the Skin Horse, for he was always truthful. "When you are Real you don't mind being hurt."

"Does it happen all at once, like being wound up," he asked, "or bit by bit?"

"It doesn't happen all at once," said the Skin Horse. "You become. It takes a long time. That's why it doesn't happen often to people who break easily, or have sharp edges, or who have to be carefully kept. Generally, by the time you are Real, most of your hair has been loved off, and your eyes drop out and you get loose in the joints and very shabby. But these things don't matter at all, because once you are Real you can't be ugly, except to people who don't understand."

"I suppose you are real?" said the Rabbit. And then he wished he had not said it, for he thought the Skin Horse might be sensitive.

But the Skin Horse only smiled.

I plugged 403 into his pump to see how much it would dose him for...if anything at this point, his pump is great for calculations!!...and it mercifully called out 1 unit. Easy peasy.

I told Brendon he needed a shot and he asked, "With a needle?"

I told him yes.

He paced back and forth like a caged tiger and stomped off into the family room and plopped himself on the couch.

"Do it in the stomach."

"No, your stomach might be all used up."

"Where are you going to do it?"

"In the arm. It won't even hurt. It'll hurt less than an infusion set!"

"No, I don't want it in the arm. What about me? I want to do it."

"You want to give yourself the shot?"

"Yes, I've done it before."

He wiped the tears from his eyes and watched as I cleaned off a section of meaty thigh, and he pinched his skin while holding the needle in mid air....hesitating.

He was thinking too much. I could see the needle inching closer. Finally Jeff told him to do it quick.

Brendon in achingly slow motion pierced his skin with the needle and pushed the plunger down.

He saw a microscopic teeny tiny speck of a speck of blood and pointed to it asking "I think I see something. Is that OK?"

"Yes Brendon. It's fine. You did a good job."

To see him so worked up over a needle now at a big burly 8 years old when at 2 1/2 years old he was so nonchalant and cooperative about getting a shot somehow broke the hell out of my heart.

It's just one of those things I guess.

Now he's whooping, hollering, and laughing at a prediction his Dad made about a play the Mets made not too soon after that prediction.

"How did you know that, Dad? Holy mackerel!!"


  • I'm a bit behind here ....

    But I feel your frustration with the highs. Dani did that for the last half of June on us - high as a stinkin' kite. It went on for a few weeks (good-bye any chance at a decent a1c ...) then we went on holidays and she went the other way on us and I was scrambling to keep on top of lows and was backtracking insulin (figuring out new I:C ratios all that crap). ARGHHHH!!!

    Yep - hate, hate, hate this disease. It's hard on the brain and hard on our kids bodies :( DAMMIT.

    By Blogger Jamie, at 7/22/2008 8:38 PM  

  • Oh wow. The emotions you must go through on a daily basis...

    Is he a Mets fan too?!? I thoght my husband was the only Mets fan living in New England!

    By Blogger Life As I Know It, at 7/22/2008 9:25 PM  

  • We've been fighting wacky highs, too. Is it the heat? Or activity plus heat? That seems to bring it on, even though it seems like that should make Daniel low. FRUSTRATING!

    I hope the shot worked.

    We're still on shots, but going to a pump class in August. When Daniel gives himself a shot he goes incredibly slowly, touching with the needle for just the right spot. It's hard for me to watch. When I give him a shot, it's more like playing darts...

    By Blogger Naomi, at 7/23/2008 7:59 AM  

  • Jamie,
    It IS hard on our brains. I totally agree.

    I play darts too when I give or gave him injections.

    This morning he told me he doesn't mind shots if he can give it to himself. Plus, because it was so far in between this shot and the last one (which occured last summer) he had forgotten how small the needle was and that it didn't really hurt. I think he must've thought they'd be like the needles they draw his blood with when he gets his A1C done.

    By Blogger Shannon, at 7/23/2008 8:15 AM  

  • Good for him for giving his own shot! I wish I didn't have to say that though. It's pretty dang brave, you have to admit.

    I got a chuckle out of "holy mackerel"! :-)

    By Blogger Scott K. Johnson, at 7/23/2008 11:56 AM  

  • We've been fighting 12 yr old high bg at my house too. Finally figured out that J's bg is higher the week before her cycle. If it's not a growth spurt, it's menstruation/puberty. D. is so not fun.

    By Blogger Natalie, at 7/28/2008 10:44 AM  

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