We've Come A Long Way Baby....

This month marks the 4th anniversary of Brendon's diagnosis. I can't believe it's been 4 years already. He was 2 1/2 years old. Now he's a strapping 6 year old.

Thinking of how quickly 4 years has arrived, I am reminded of barely being able to get through the first week of his diagnosis when he was still in the hospital. I couldn't see past each day let alone what his life would turn into.

I can now say out loud "My son has diabetes". Back then when I'd begin to tell people what happened to my son, the word "diabetes" didn't have a fighting chance of leaving my mouth. I'd start crying before I could get the word out. About a year later, I said to someone, "Brendon has diabetes". I thought to myself, "I was able to say diabetes. Am I finally healing from the shock of his diagnosis?"

While in the hospital, I remember being shown the glucose meter we'd be using and how I saw it as a mass of meaningless parts that I was sure I'd have a hell of a time putting together. Now the code has been long cracked and I can put it together in my sleep....literally.

Forget about giving shots! I thought we'd have to take him to the doctor every time he needed a shot once we got home. When we were told that we'd be doing it ourselves, and how often we'd have to do it, my first thought was "Hey, I'm not a doctor, I'm not equipped to do this...are we even ALLOWED to give him shots?

And then I remember thinking of how big those shots would be because I pictured the type of needle used to take blood. "My poor baby will have to get shots with those big needles?" The nurse showed me what they looked like and I was relieved....those aren't so big, but damn, I don't know if I can handle poking him with it anyway.

I remember bringing him home and thinking "Oh shit, being a parent who changes diapers and feeds him and nurtures him is one thing....but being the person keeping him ALIVE AND PREVENTING COMPLICATIONS IS A WHOLE OTHER BALLGAME...I'M SCARED!"

Knowing my nature, I knew that the level of discomfort of learning a new way of life would fade as what I was learning would become second nature. I just couldn't wait for second nature to come and take over.

Then: He screamed his head off when he got his first injection and everytime for days after.
Now: "Mom, you did a great job. I didn't even feel that infusion set go in. You're getting better and better. Keep it up.", he says to me encouragingly.

Then: He held my face in his hands and said "Mommy I don't want you to get hurt" after I said I'd like to see what a finger prick felt like.
Now: "Mom, I'm an 86", he says after he tests himself. We'll even make up games to see who guesses the closest number. The only prize is to gloat over who came the closest...and that's good enough for him if he's the one who wins bragging rights.

Then: He'd sneak food and not tell me.
Now: "Mom, this apple weighs 5 oz.", he says after he plucks it off the scale.

Just as I was ecstatic over his first steps, or his first words, I was just as much so when he recognized a low on his own and informed me of it. Diabetes has been incorporated in our lives and in Brendon's as though it were the most natural thing in the world. It's become interchangeable with all the other development milestones in his life.

I give thanks every. single. day. that diabetes has not slowed Brendon down or held him back from all he pursues. Diabetes is a hard hard thing for him to live with, but the key is that he live with it.