Mom Wants A Diabetes Cure

Saturday, June 10, 2006

Is Karate My Calling?

Yesterday, during Brendon's karate class, a mom who I talk to regularly when we both attend at the same time with our boys, turned to me with big bright eyes and said

"So I hear you're joining karate!!!"

"Who told you that?"

"So when are you going to join?"

"Seriously, who told you that?"

"Mr. M (the intructor) told me. He said that L and Brendon's Mom are joining. When he told me, I said AWESOME!! I'm the only girl in the class, so it would be great if both of you joined too."

"How often do you come to class?"

"Every night."

So there you have it. Brendon's karate instructor is starting a campaign to get me to join up. The sneak told this particular mom because he knows I talk to her during the entire session each time we bring our boys in to class, and since she comes in every night for herself, he must've known she'd work on me to join.

I just don't know if I have it in me. I think I have undiganosed dyslexia. In college, I had a gym elective and back then, golf was the sport of choice. I signed up too late...the spots were taken up. Karate was the only other sport that interested me.

The instructor was a wisp of a man. He was probably 5'8", maybe 145 lbs, and wiry. He was also extremely strict considering we'd never make it past white belt since this class only lasted one semester.

He treated the college gymnasium as though it were an authentic dojo. And he'd threaten us knowing that we college students would cut corners whenever we could.

He'd warn us that even if he wasn't in the dojo when we entered, we better sure as hell bow to each wall. He said, "You never know when I could be crawling around the rafters up above, like a ninja ready to pounce if I catch you not following dojo etiquette."

And so we were petrified, and bowed everytime we entered the gym...I mean dojo.

He'd make us do grueling workouts. I had abs of steel. I had to have them for sheer survival because there were big ass football players in the class, and one of the ab exercises required each of us to step on the stomach of all the students as though we were stepping on stones trying to cross a babbling brook.

The friggin sadistic football players took great delight in each "oomf!!" and "uuuugh" they could force out of our mouths when they would literally stomp on us. I would see them coming and brace myself for the inevitable pounding of my internal organs.

I loved the workouts for the toning, but the karate moves were a different story.

The instructor would demonstrate some twisting-turning-punch-kick move and would have each of us repeat it individually. It came to be my turn and I attempted the move.

He was laughing hysterically as he said:

"Shannon, I don't know what you just did, but that was the funniest thing I ever saw."

I was completely humiliated, but being that I can laugh at myself, I laughed too, as did everyone else in the class.

Maybe I'll join afterall and prove to myself that I can get past that moment.


  • Oh that sounds like a lot of fun!

    I studied with a few places around here and loved it - but just didn't have the time to devote to it outside of the class!

    I was really intrigued by how much of a mental challenge it was as well as the physical side of it. It's no easy thing to remember a long series of moves AND do them right!

    I think you should go for it!

    And the mental images of these huge football players stomping on other peoples stomachs is quite a picture!!

    By Blogger Scott K. Johnson, at 6/10/2006 1:11 PM  

  • Now that is taking a dare seriously! You go kick some _ _ _ girl!! OH MY GOSH Shannon, what a crack up you are, WOW!! PLEASE sned a photo of you going to the dojo and bowing!
    I think this is a great idea!! And no I do not know your son's karate teacher!!

    By Blogger Tongue in Cheek Antiques, at 6/10/2006 6:09 PM  

  • I loved karate. I think it has a lot to do with the teacher. If you like this teacher for Brendon, maybe he'll have the patience to work with you too!

    By Blogger art-sweet, at 6/10/2006 9:01 PM  

  • This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

    By Blogger pk, at 6/11/2006 3:00 PM  

  • Thanks for your comment. I say totally go for the karate... the first time I took my mom to yoga, I had to excuse myself from the class because I was laughing so hard at her. I just went back with her the other day, two years after her first class, and she looks like a Swami. Stick with it.

    By Blogger Lion, at 6/11/2006 3:05 PM  

  • I'm going for it guys. Even though I might be one of two women in the class, I'm past the age of humiliation.

    Fuck 'em I say!!

    By Blogger Shannon, at 6/11/2006 4:17 PM  

  • Absolutely go for it!

    I've always wanted to try my hand (and arms, legs and feet) at karate.

    Sounds like a blast.

    By Blogger Sandra Miller, at 6/11/2006 7:05 PM  

  • Awesome!

    It was so much fun reading your story, especially the football players and all. On the other hand, I would love to have abs like steel, how did you get them? Was it only from the Karate or did you work on those outside of your class as well? It's just really hard after having shots in my abs for yearsssss... I wonder if it's still possible...

    By Blogger KJ, at 6/12/2006 6:55 PM  

  • ...and last but not least, karataaaaaaaaaay-hiiiiii-ya!

    Go for it. I would hurt myself if I did that, but I am Queen Klutz.

    By Blogger julia, at 6/12/2006 9:08 PM  

  • Ugh, don't remind me of that commercial...blech...I saw it last night and the windows threatened to shatter.

    By Blogger Shannon, at 6/13/2006 7:36 AM  

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