Mom Wants A Diabetes Cure

Friday, October 06, 2006

MV (The Final Installment)

Let's recap the highlights of my stay at MV. First, Aunt Flo visits at an inopportune time, and then Jeff gets the once over, twice over, three times a lady over by the guy behind The Black Dog counter.

After the "luck" we've been having, you'd think I'd play it safe, stay in my B&B room and never leave. Well, no that doesn't happen. What happens is this:

We come back from our little shopping spree at The Black Dog and as Jeff is a little traumatized by the "encounter" he preoccupies himself with the distraction of figuring out what we can do next to fill the day.

Renting a moped and exploring the island is out...I don't need to crash and lay in a bloody heap. Jeff's driving scares me air on a moped will not protect my body parts.

The map shows that Vineyard Haven has a lot of shops and restaurants. We decide a change of scenery would be nice, so, we decide to walk to Vineyard Haven which, as the map shows, is a mere 2.5 miles from Oak Bluffs where we're staying. Easy. No problem.

I have my comfy flip flops that I had just bought at a boutique store. I also have on a nice cool cotton blouse, and a worn-in pair of jeans. I'm ready for anything!

"Will this map fit in your pocketbook?"

"No, too many tampons. We don't need the map. We just go here, here and then we're there. It's easy."

"Okaa-ay, if you say so."

"Let's just go already."

We walk up a side street rather than go through town like the map showed us to do, thinking we're taking a short cut.

We see very small, very old Victorian summer homes along tree lined streets. Ancient, weathered New England churches at nearly every street corner.

We see bridesmaids, and groomsmen, and guests in chicly tailored cocktail dresses waiting along the sides of every other street waiting for the taxis to come and pick them up. Apparently it was a big wedding day on the island.

It's a charming walk so far. Blue skies, temps in the upper 60's-low 70's. Breezy, but the sun warms us in between gusts. Jeff comments on what a perfect day it is. I reply that the weather couldn't be more perfect.

We keep walking, walking, walking and Jeff's "lost-radar" begins to flash.

"We've been walking for a while, maybe we should ask someone how to get to Vineyard Haven."

"Jeff, we haven't even walked a mile, we still have a ways to go. We're going the right way, dont' worry about it."

"Let's ask these ladies."

Two women are walking ahead of is pushing a stroller. Yes indeed, beautiful day for a walk.

"Excuse me, we're trying to get to Vineyard Haven. Are we going in the right direction", Jeff asks them.

"Yes, you just keep going straight ahead. You have quite a ways to go, but it's up there."


"See", I say, "we're fine".

So we continue walking. And we come to a residential part of MV. Not so charming, just a bunch of small houses. And the sun is getting hot. And I'm sweating. And my flip flops aren't so comfy anymore.

We come to an intersection and decide to hang a right thinking that we've walked too far West and need to take it in a bit. And then we keep walking.

"We've been walking a while, where's a goddamn taxi when you need one. They're all over the friggin island, but when you need one, shit, nothing!", I complain.

We continue walking and we come to a road that we recognize from the map.

"Aw, Shannon, this is the road where we saw those ladies. We just walked in a big fucking circle."

"That's it, who gives a fuck about Vineyard Haven. It's probably just like Oak Bluffs. I'm going back. I'm tired. I've had enough."

"No, let's keep walking. I don't want to give up."

Just as I was about to shout more obscentities in protest, a big white SUV pulls up to the corner and a woman asks us if we're OK.

"No, we're looking for Vineyard Haven."

"Oh, you still have quite a ways to go.", she says.

Really, ya think?

"Do you want a ride? I'm not going in that direction, but I can bring you up closer and make a turn so I can go to where I need to get."

"Yes, thank you! Anything to get us closer."

We hop in and rest our weary feet. I don't give a crap if she's a serial killer. As long as I get to rest, nothing matters anymore.

She says to us, "I saw the looks on your faces and saw you both looked a little lost."

She stops to drop us off and she then says "It's not Vineyard Haven yet, but at least I saved you a few steps."

I reply, "Yeah, and you saved us from a huge fight!".

She got a kick out of that one and laughed hysterically. Whatever.

Jeff and I continue walking, and walking, and walking. (Yes, the story ends soon, thanks for hanging in there and continuing the read).

We see a sign saying Welcome to Tisbury.

"What the fuck is this?", says Jeff. "What the fuck is Tisbury? Where the fuck is Vineyard Haven."

"That bitch lied to us! Maybe she was wrong about this road leading to Vineyard Haven. She did say she was bad with directions. Whatever. I'm hungry and maybe there's shops and restaurants in Tisbury. Who gives a shit if it's not Vineyard Haven. Fuck this. I hate walking!"

We trudge along looking at the beautiful water along side us, watching sailboats float lazily along the water, hating every minute of what we're doing.

FINALLY we see some people walking. Civilization!

"We must be close to something good if there are people walking around", I say half heartedly, hoping it wasn't a cruel mirage.

We come upon a store, then another, and another.

Ah, there's a sign for Vineyard Haven. We've reached our destination. My right foot is killing me and today, October 6th, it's still hurting.

We estimated that we walked at least 6 miles. So much for 2.5.

To top it off, as we walk the main street, we notice that every other store is basically the same ones we saw in Oak Bluffs. Motherfucker, we could've stayed in Oak Bluffs and not missed a goddamn thing here. Well, gotta make the best of it as we're here. Fuck.

We catch lunch, I buy a book for Jeff as an anniversary gift in a charming book store (Nasty Bits, by Anthony Bourdain) and we take a taxi back to the B&B.

Then we sleep for a few hours and do some more fucking walking into town for our anniversary dinner. Happy fucking anniversary in Martha's Vineyard.

I have some pictures to download still...having trouble with connection, so will try to post them later.

That's that.


  • I'm sorry, but I'm laughing my ass off over here. You two sound like me and my dh - similar conversations would have been taking place.

    I am sorry your anniversary weekend was kind of sucked out - but it sure makes for a great story.

    By Blogger Jamie, at 10/06/2006 10:49 AM  

  • I was just in both towns at the end of August and know that MV has a pretty good public transit (i.e., bus) system--did you ever consider it? I've only been on the Vineyard for the day, so haven't considered walking between towns for the lack of time, but I didn't think they were THAT close to each other.

    By Blogger Lyrehca, at 10/06/2006 3:47 PM  

  • We figured since the map said 2.5 miles, then it was a walkable distance. And then when we realized we walked WAY too much, there wasn't any kind of bus or taxi in sight. We were pretty much in the "non-tourist" area.

    Now we know better!

    By Blogger Shannon, at 10/06/2006 6:32 PM  

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