MV---Part Uno (note to men....TMI involved)

I didn't think I'd survive Martha's Vineyard, but somehow I managed. Yes, I realize how lucky I am to have had the chance to go, but nonetheless, I feel like I've been on the brink of hell.

It all started with a ferry ride from the Cape to MV. While we were on the ferry, a family straight from the pages of J. Crew came aboard....mom, dad, 2 little boys, and their English Spaniel. They were dressed casually, had their J. Crew MV outfits on as if to say "I know we didn't come on with any luggage, and I know we're so damned cute, but we're dressed in J. Crew clothes that we bought a year ago, so we're not pretentious or anything."

I watched this family the entire time. They were just so interesting to see. A man came over....a doctor whose wife didn't want to "accompany" him to the island....and started talking to them. Apparently they all knew each other and the JC family knew the girls behind the snack counter (they must make this trip alot!), so the kids got free snacks and smoochy kisses from mom who just "looooooved her boys soooooo much!" They were cute though.

The older boy, who was about 4 yrs old, starts showing what a nutty kid he is and starts telling dad that he's going to light him on fire, cut him into little pieces, and throw him into the water.

Hmmm. Could it be the boy is angry that his parents named him Standish? Hopefully his little brother, Crossen, doesn't have any issues with his own name, otherwise dad is a goner.

The ferry hits shore and Jeff and I gather our luggage and head out to catch a taxi which is in fact a van so that they can transport a bunch of people at once, depositing everyone at different points on the island.

It literally took us 30 seconds to reach our destined bed and breakfast. It was right down the road, but it was dark, and it was our first time there, so we had an excuse!

As we walk into the B&B, a red headed woman approaches us and with a sweet Irish accent begins to recite the information we need to know about our stay there. She's in the middle of her speech when Jeff gets a call on his cell. It's my mother asking if I have my pocketbook with me. I check and realize it's not with me. An employee from the ferry found it, used my cellphone to call the first person on my phone list and said we could pick it up the next morning when they come in at 9:30 am. OK, that's fine, no big whoop, hopefully they don't dip into the cash in my wallet.

We finish the tour of the B&B and Irish lady suggests we walk to town and go to a place called Seasons for dinner. We settle into our room and head out into gale like winds (B&B was on the beach) and walk into town which luckily was not that far at all.

The restaurant was a cozy little bar that served delicious food where I had the best calamari EVER! Light and crispy, not chewy at all. Along with a Corona and a lobster roll, I'd say I was quite satisfied with my first trip to MV so far.

With full bellies, we walk back and as I climb the stairs to our room, I feel not quite right. I pray that it isn't what I think it is and go to the bathroom to check....yup, I got my goddamn period!

And guess where I stashed a handful of lady products just in case my luck was shitty and I wound up getting it....that's right....in my pocketbook which was on the ferry!!

And not only am I panicked because every store is closed therefore no feminine products could be bought, but I realize that whoever found my pocketbook had to fish through my enormous load of FP's to get to my cell phone to make a call to my mom!

I constructed a makeshift pad out of toilet paper....and let's leave it at that.

I would say I could've gotten a good night's sleep if it weren't for the enormous ruckus going on in the B&B next door. I rolled over, peaked out the window, and INSIDE of the next B&B, I saw a poker game going on with a bunch of men...music and all! Needless to say, the walls are thin in these Victorian houses. 2 a.m. rolls by and they're still at it.

Who the hell knew people on "The Vineyard" partied like that?

Fast forward to Jeff getting my pockebook full of FP's and my subsequent enormous relief.

to be continued.....