Mom Wants A Diabetes Cure

Friday, April 18, 2008

Why Mama Lions Eat Their Young

I was sitting at the kitchen table during dinner the other night...alone, but with the kids...because Jeff was at a dinner soiré for work...and Jacob kept getting up from the dinner table to show me different tricks he could do with different parts of his body.

I kept telling him to sit down and eat....to stop climbing on the table....to sit on his rear end instead of standing on the chair....so on and so forth.

Brendon comes to his brother's "rescue" and says "Quit harassing the poor kid."

Excuse me??

"I'm not harassing him, I'm trying to get him to behave at the dinner table."

"You terrorize kids all the time. And you're mean to them. You really need to take a look at yourself, young lady.", says Jessica, who is 6 years old.

I was totally offended and she was WAY off point.

"I terrorize YOU GUYS??!! YOU kids terrorize ME!! THAT'S why I'm so mean! Now eat your dinner!"

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This morning Brendon says, "I want to wear this shirt again", as he buries his nose into it and takes a deep whiff. "It doesn't smell. Here, smell it."

Never mind the lack of odor, what about the unidentifiable crust showing like a badge on the upper chest area??

"No! You're not wearing that again even if it doesn't smell. You can't wear clothes two days in a row. People will think you're poor." (Holy shit, I just used a line my mom used on me when I wanted to wear my gauchos every single day of my kindergarten career back in the good ol' 70's).

"But mom!! It's going to get hot today!"

We argued back and forth and thankfully I've kept up with the laundry this week so that he was able to find an acceptable shirt to wear.

It wasn't even 8 a.m. and I already needed a swig of hard liquor to calm my frazzled nerves.

8 Comments:

  • HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA! OH SHIT that was funny. HA HA HA HA!

    One time we were changing Caroline's pump site when she was 400 and she was just freaking out mad. Of course she knows no bad words yet, so she yelled to her Mom the worse thing she's heard us say to her, "You stop it right there young missy!" It was hard to not laugh.

    We hear that crap all the time from Caroline. She acts like a total fool, we give her a timeout, and then she tells us she wants to go live somewhere else because this is a mean house. WTF?!?!?!

    I don't condone child abuse or eating your young, but boy let me tell you do I totally understand the saying now, 'I brought you into this world and I can take you back out.'

    By Blogger Brett, at 4/18/2008 12:10 PM  

  • Oh - kids say the darndest things. Today is a teachers day - does that mean it is full-time moms drinking day?

    It's only 10:21 and already they've built a monstrous train track through the living room and dining room (though I do applaud their creativity), requested seven different meals for their webkins (apparently they're picky eaters), and are at this exact moment asking for the permanent markers.... Hmm, do I dare ask why???

    By Blogger C.L.W., at 4/18/2008 1:25 PM  

  • Please bring yourself and your hard liquor over here STAT and we'll both get drunk from the trials and tribulations of motherhood!

    By Blogger Sunshine, at 4/18/2008 1:40 PM  

  • LMAO! You child terrorizer you!! LOL - funny what kids will say.

    I could write an entire post about eating a meal with my kids. I'm pretty sure 3/4 of my grey hairs come from that activity alone.

    I have Kahlua - come on over girl and we'll be paralyzed in no time!

    By Blogger Jamie, at 4/18/2008 3:20 PM  

  • shannon,
    every morning i feel like this. my ALWAYS late child, and me ALWAYS early person... not a good blend. and for the last couple of months i've been getting "you can't tell me what to do after April 27th and i turn 18!" OH YES I CAN!

    By OpenID landileigh, at 4/18/2008 4:31 PM  

  • Too funny! Oh, I know it's not funny for you. But it's funny for the rest of us. Thanks for the good laugh today.

    By Blogger Donna, at 4/18/2008 10:05 PM  

  • HAHAHAHAHA!!!! HOly crap that made me laugh out loud!! At least your kids have eachother backs??!!!

    By Blogger Jenn, at 4/18/2008 10:07 PM  

  • This Jessica that u speak of, she sounds like a real piece of work....Actually, they all do!
    HA - HA!!
    k2

    By Blogger k2, at 4/18/2008 10:37 PM  

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