Why Mama Lions Eat Their Young

I was sitting at the kitchen table during dinner the other night...alone, but with the kids...because Jeff was at a dinner soiré for work...and Jacob kept getting up from the dinner table to show me different tricks he could do with different parts of his body.

I kept telling him to sit down and eat....to stop climbing on the table....to sit on his rear end instead of standing on the chair....so on and so forth.

Brendon comes to his brother's "rescue" and says "Quit harassing the poor kid."

Excuse me??

"I'm not harassing him, I'm trying to get him to behave at the dinner table."

"You terrorize kids all the time. And you're mean to them. You really need to take a look at yourself, young lady.", says Jessica, who is 6 years old.

I was totally offended and she was WAY off point.

"I terrorize YOU GUYS??!! YOU kids terrorize ME!! THAT'S why I'm so mean! Now eat your dinner!"

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This morning Brendon says, "I want to wear this shirt again", as he buries his nose into it and takes a deep whiff. "It doesn't smell. Here, smell it."

Never mind the lack of odor, what about the unidentifiable crust showing like a badge on the upper chest area??

"No! You're not wearing that again even if it doesn't smell. You can't wear clothes two days in a row. People will think you're poor." (Holy shit, I just used a line my mom used on me when I wanted to wear my gauchos every single day of my kindergarten career back in the good ol' 70's).

"But mom!! It's going to get hot today!"

We argued back and forth and thankfully I've kept up with the laundry this week so that he was able to find an acceptable shirt to wear.

It wasn't even 8 a.m. and I already needed a swig of hard liquor to calm my frazzled nerves.