Mom Wants A Diabetes Cure

Thursday, June 07, 2007

This Post Is A Bow On My Finger

I have to remind myself not to read other people's blog posts, and their replies to comments I wrote earlier in the day, late at night when my thoughts are probably irrational, making me more sensitive to things that are probably not what they truely are. (sorry if you had to read that a few times to understand it).

I'm so careful to be nonjudgemental and as supportive as a person can possibly be even if my perspective on a situation doesn't jive with the blogger's perspective. I try to put myself in the other person's shoes ALWAYS. I do that in my everyday life as well.

If the person is feeling pain, joy, whatever, I try to say in a comment what I think is the right thing to make them feel good if they're feeling lousy or to encourage them to continue on the path of whatever wonderful journey they're on.

And so a certain comment I left on a certain blog I read regularly I feel was once again rejected with a reply from the blogger as though what I said was unsupportive.

In a way I feel this person is argumentative with whatever I say.

But, even when I read the blog during the day and I check the response to my comments, I feel the same way as I do now. So maybe I'm not experiencing late night irrationality.

Why do I care?

I started blogging in March 2005. I saw a link for The Diabetes Blog on a message board and read an article. And then I clicked on "comments" and then clicked on Martha O'Connor's name and discovered her blog. This post by the way has nothing to do with her. I'm not revealing who I referred to at the beginning.

I commented on her blog, she emailed me and encouraged me to start one of my own. She wanted another parent to share their story.

AmyT of Diabetes Mine was the very first commenter on my blog. Based on what I wrote, she made me feel reassured because she said she too was a slacker mom who would rather write in her blog than do laundry.

And then she made me aware of another parent, Sandra. Sandra commented on my blog, I commented on hers and we're still here today, as well as Martha.

Martha, Sandra, and I were the first three parents that we were all aware of.

When more and more D-bloggers started commenting, a group of us formed.

And then when there were too many bloggers to keep up with the adding to our link section of our blogs (or at least I was the one who just gave up adding the droves of D-bloggers) someone had the brilliant idea to create another blog as a directory.

And so the reason why I care so much about how my comments are taken by the blogger or any OC blogger for that matter, is because these blogs are my lifeline to the support I so desperately needed and still need today.

Brendon was diagnosed when I was pregnant, Jessica had just turned 1 year old, Jeff and I were selling our house in NY and were desperately trying to buy this one so that we could just be settled in order to focus on Brendon's care.

I knew no one up here. I was completely overwhelmed and lonely and wanted to do the best I could to learn how to give Brendon the best care possible. I reached out to online support groups because there were none I could go to in person. I asked the NH branch of JDRF for names of families so that I could reach out to them, but they were so spread out that starting a group of my own didn't stand a chance. None of the online groups panned out. For two years +/- I relied on a message board at as my sole resource for support (this is the message board where someone posted a link to The Diabetes Blog). It started to deteriorate as a supportive place in my opinion because we were parents who were just trying to get by without our kids having a seizure or numbers in the 400 range, or coming to terms with our kids eating ice cream 3 nights in a row to appease the H and NPH monsters. We didn't have the energy to support each other anymore. We were all getting on each other's nerves because we were tired and cranky. PLUS, tons of moms were coming on asking us if their own kids had diabetes because they were thirsty and peed the bed. I was tired of telling these moms to call a fucking DOCTOR!

So when Martha encouraged me to start my own blog, I jumped at the chance and two years later, here I am among other parents and people who have D.

When I was once shrouded in a cocoon of support that did nothing more than to get me through each day and only causing me to see misery in Brendon's future (what the fuck did us parents know? Our kids were all 3 years old and under), I was exposed to an entire world through the writings about your experiences. The PWD's especially, showed me that Brendon has a chance to live a healthy, fulfilling, albeit incredibly challenging life. BUT, despite the challenge, he has the opporunity to be happy and chase his dreams nonetheless. I also know that there are other parents who love their babies and will do everything in their power to protect them from the damaging effects of diabetes.

With the diverse people who have made the OC what it is today, it's only natural that we all won't or can't get along or relate to each other.

But hell, I've never ever left a comment that wasn't meant to be supportive or helpful.

(Note to whoever reads this: Please don't get paranoid and start rifling through your comment section to see if you are the one who I'm referring to. It's unnecessary).


  • Hay Shannon,

    I've always taken your comments as a sign of support. I've also always loved your sense of humor.


    By Blogger Scott K. Johnson, at 6/07/2007 10:54 AM  

  • Thanks Scott! You were one of the originals too (and Violet)! Amazing how we've grown :)

    By Blogger Shannon, at 6/07/2007 11:35 AM  

  • I do not have a blog but have left comments on another one where I felt the person took issue with what I had to say. I then wrote back to clarify. "Never discuss religion or politics at the dinner table" or on blogs, for that matter, LOL. Both seem to be very controversial topics which often invite heated responses. I am very grateful to any blogger who has the guts to put herself and her child out there, exposed to the internet. It is a very brave thing to do. Many who don't respond do read and you are educating and helping many by being willing to share your story publicly. Regardless of how it is taken, you should not let criticism get in the way of freedom of speech. Whether you think of yourself that way or not, you are a writer now. Do not censor yourself. People have a right to their reaction, whether or not it is justified. You can always write back and explain and leave it at that. Your blogging supports parents of children with diabetes and most of them will support you in return.

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at 6/07/2007 2:00 PM  

  • Anon,

    I don't plan to sensor myself, but I do plan to avoid commenting on that particular blog. No sense beating my head against a brick wall.

    BTW, thanks for that comment!

    By Blogger Shannon, at 6/07/2007 2:11 PM  

  • Shannon,

    I know how you feel. I commented on a blog a couple of days ago. The person asked a question and I (very kindly) replied to it. I didn't get ugly or belittle the person, but I didn't agree with them either.

    But, when I went back to check to see the response, they had never posted my comment. The only comment that was posted was from someone who agreed with the person. It made me wonder if others had disagreed with them and they didn't post that either.

    And, on top of that, the next post was berating someone for thinking they know everything. Then, I started wondering if they were talking about me. Then, I thought if they were it was unfair because I can't even defend myself because they won't post my comment.

    Then, I realized I'm PMS'ing and usually something like that wouldn't bother me. But, I will not comment on that blog again.

    By Blogger Penny, at 6/07/2007 4:25 PM  

  • Penny, I get overly sensitive sometimes. That's why I mostly doubted myself while writing the post, but everything flooded out and I thought it best to leave it as is instead of deleting the post.

    Forget about that time of the month....I've passed that time already, can you imagine how I'd be if I were PMSing right now? Good grief :)

    By Blogger Shannon, at 6/07/2007 4:42 PM  

  • I have gotten discouraged in the past about some comments. It bites ass when they either misundersand you or think so passionately one way that it really misconstrews your view and above it all they try to berrate you or call you down on it.
    At the end of the day...screw it. It is Shannon's blog.
    Peeps can be such boners.

    By Blogger Chris, at 6/07/2007 4:47 PM  

  • Sometimes I read comments on my blog and see a little red for a while. If I responded to these immediately I'd probably just cause a problem.

    So I try to think about what was said and then come back to it again and see if my response is different. And usually it's better.

    We all pour so much of ourselves into blogging that it can be easy to take some comment in the wrong way. Especially because written language is such a lousy substitute for face-to-face conversations.

    Anyway, this is all by way of saying thanks for a thoughtful post and do please keep blogging. I just wish I'd found this whole community sooner.

    Can you put a link to the different bloggers you mention in your post? I have Amy and Martha on my blog roll, but I don't think I have Sandra. So I'd love to see a pointer to her blog. Thanks.

    By Blogger Bernard, at 6/08/2007 12:07 PM  

  • Dear Shannon

    You are one blogger and friend i have come to admire and respect. You are very supportive and encouraging. You give far more than you could possible receive. I feel I see you everyday, and yet we have never met.
    Thank you for being in this blogging community and for spreading support an encouragement to all of us who know you.

    By Anonymous tongue in cheek, at 6/11/2007 3:25 PM  

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