His Fifth Diabetes Anniversary

"(Courage is) when you know you're licked before you begin but you begin anyway and you see it through no matter what. You rarely win, but sometimes you do".
-Atticus Finch, "To Kill a Mockingbird"

Five years ago, in a hospital where my son lay close to unconsciousness, I made the decision to say goodbye to a family I wanted nothing more than to keep close and tight to me.

I turned my back on them because I believed that clinging to the life they had would make my new life so much more unbearable to lead. Their life was: love each other, love and nourish the children, work hard to to make a comfortable, simple life.

I immediately greeted a new family with wide open arms despite being completely intimidated and frightened of the kind of life they would endure: so much more complicated, more worries than they ever dreamed of, no decisions made lightly ever, ever again.

Five years later, the new family isn't so new anymore and their life isn't so frightening and intimidating either. Life feels more settled and even a little bit free.

I do, however, desperately miss the family I turned away from and think of them from time to time. One day I hope to greet them again....when diabetes is cured.