This Isn't How It Was Supposed To Go
I've just corrected Brendon. He was a 278 at 11:00 p.m. I checked him at 8:00 because he said he felt low. He was a 135. Brendon has been complaining he feels low for the past few nights at 8:00. And each time I check him, he's been fine. But when I check at around 10 or 11, he's in the 200's. So we have to raise his basal rate.
Today we were interviewed by a reporter about us being on dLife. Apparently it's a big deal that a family in a little New Hampshire town is going to be on national TV.
Brendon says, "First we're on TV, now the newspapers are coming to our house. Next we'll be in the movies."
When I was being interviewed by the reporter, I began to tell her about when I was in the waiting area at Children's letting a newly turned 1 year old Jessica run around after midnight while nurses were wrestling Brendon down trying to get an I.V. in his arm.
I got to the part where Jeff came out to get me and brought me back to Brendon who was once again laying in a dead heap on the gurney.
My throat tightened and my voice faltered and I began crying when I told the reporter about Jeff telling me that Brendon is very sick, but they know what's wrong with him and he'll get better...he'll be OK. I said to Jeff, he has diabetes, doesn't he. Jeff said yes. The reporter was jotting down her notes with a look of sympathy on her face as my own face was contorted, red and wet. I didn't think those emotions were so close to the surface anymore. Perhaps that is where they'll always stay even when I think they've been driven down deep.
All of the above is not something I ever counted on happening when I gave birth to Brendon. He was supposed to be healthy and untouchable. I expected maybe a broken arm or some stitches. But never diabetes. Never a chronic illness. But it's here to stay...and it's something we live with.
I don't know how to finish this post. So I'll just end it here.
Today we were interviewed by a reporter about us being on dLife. Apparently it's a big deal that a family in a little New Hampshire town is going to be on national TV.
Brendon says, "First we're on TV, now the newspapers are coming to our house. Next we'll be in the movies."
When I was being interviewed by the reporter, I began to tell her about when I was in the waiting area at Children's letting a newly turned 1 year old Jessica run around after midnight while nurses were wrestling Brendon down trying to get an I.V. in his arm.
I got to the part where Jeff came out to get me and brought me back to Brendon who was once again laying in a dead heap on the gurney.
My throat tightened and my voice faltered and I began crying when I told the reporter about Jeff telling me that Brendon is very sick, but they know what's wrong with him and he'll get better...he'll be OK. I said to Jeff, he has diabetes, doesn't he. Jeff said yes. The reporter was jotting down her notes with a look of sympathy on her face as my own face was contorted, red and wet. I didn't think those emotions were so close to the surface anymore. Perhaps that is where they'll always stay even when I think they've been driven down deep.
All of the above is not something I ever counted on happening when I gave birth to Brendon. He was supposed to be healthy and untouchable. I expected maybe a broken arm or some stitches. But never diabetes. Never a chronic illness. But it's here to stay...and it's something we live with.
I don't know how to finish this post. So I'll just end it here.
posted by Shannon at
11:10 PM
4 Comments:
You think you've moved on, but then they interview you and it all comes back like it happened an hour ago. I know when the local tv station interviewed me I was choked the entire time, trying not to cry. I know they would have LIKED if I had cried but I get UGLY when I cry and there was no way I was crying on TV!! LOL. But holy, it was soooooooo hard!!
So, yeah, just when you think you're past it all - it's still there. I don't think it'll ever go away.
(((((((((HUGS)))))))))
By
Jamie, at 7/26/2007 10:03 AM
Hey Shannon,
Those emotions are powerful. I too have been feeling a lot of emotion around diabetes recently, so maybe it's something in the air.
We can move on, but we should not necessarily forget these emotions. They are there for a reason.
Take care, and thanks for sharing this with us.
By
Scott K. Johnson, at 7/26/2007 11:55 AM
I think that saddness is always there, just below the surface.
I co-worker of mine asked about Riley yesterday and we started talking about when he was diagnosed. And, I must admit, a tear or two slipped out. And, I HATE to cry in front of people. Sometimes you just can't help it.
By
Penny Ratzlaff, at 7/27/2007 1:16 PM
With regard to the first part of your comment with your son's 'feeling' low...
You may already know this but a rapid drop in blood glucose can create the same symptoms as actual low blood glucose. So, a quick drop from from 250 down to 160 could give the 'feeling' of low blood sugar that diabetics can sometimes feel.
On a different but somewhat related note ... Several patients in the initial trial of the insulin pump died. The difference in that trial (at UCLA about 20-25 years ago) was that the patients became 'used to' blood glucose levels around 70 - 75. Rapid drops during exercise were not 'felt' by the patients because they moved to the level of bg where they became unconscious.
I am just starting on the pump but I believe most now have a continuous glucose monitoring system that is optional. I think for young diabetics this would be ideal.
I remembering carting around my blood glucose meter (that had a 3-prong wall plug).
By
Jaash, at 7/29/2007 5:55 AM
Post a Comment
<< Home